Friday, February 6, 2009

Life Happens...

It was a chilly August night in the millennium that gave us the y2k scare. The weekend had just rolled in. Like clockwork, a bunch of my friends and I opened bottles of rum and coke, mixed them in varying proportions and sipped them down our throats. As the night grew older, sips turned into gulps and our subject matters morphed into worldly affairs, reason of our existence and the meaning of life.

Without further ado, let me cut into the scene of interest. A close friend of mine and I had gotten into a discussion (by this time it was more like an argument) about why software engineers like us chose to immigrate to another country. "Its the technology and the exposure", said my friend to which I asked "What exposure?". Many of our buddies had withered away from our crowd by this time and our noise echoed off my not so sound proof apartment walls.

Here's the some of the conversation as I remember it.
"Exposure to technology and a different culture!"
"BS. It's just the currency exchange rate of 43 - Everyone is here to make money, that's it; and nothing else"
"So does that mean once you make enough money or the exchange rate goes down, you will be back in India?"
"No doubt about that. I am here just for 5 years, buddy. After that, I am off no matter what making my own destiny!"

If you haven't figured out yet, I am the one in the scene with the bold decision making and "my life is already planned out" attitude. After that, the discussion went on and on and my smirks and talking down finally got to my friends head. He then uttered what I have since learned never to use in an argument. Let's pick it up from there.

"Shut Up!"
I respond - "Why should I shut up? I think I am the one with the points here."
"I said, shut up"
"Last time I checked, this was still MY apartment. I have the freedom to say whatever I want!"

Yeah. He had the same reaction you are having. Disbelief. I think it even took some alcohol out of his liver. He raced to the door, and stormed out. I did not go after him - After all, his apartment was only half a mile away, he cannot drive drunk, so I figured he would come back and we could talk things down. Shortly after, my ego and I fell asleep, unaware of the fact that he decided to walk all the way back to his apartment in the cold, without his jacket.

Now, let's not rush to demonize me. The next morning, (more like noon when I woke up) I drove up to his place, surrendered my ego (hangover too) and apologized to him. He smiled and said - hereafter we are not discussing that stuff ever again. Surprisingly, we kept that promise ever since.

Slowly, Life happened. It was like being at a railroad crossing and watching a long train go by. Life's events came and went changing us in the process. We changed jobs, changed apartments, started to build our individual lives and got busy in its betterment.

Fast forward nine years - My friend decided not to accept permanent residency in the US, so he found a job in India, and now lives there with his family I found home in the bay area, and am in the process of raising a family here. Who knew back then that we were predicting each others lives instead of our own? As my tenth year in the bay area comes up this summer, this incident always makes me think of how I have changed in life, how yesterday's priorities have become today's jokes and how the past helps me put a perspective of what the future holds. Life is indeed an amazing journey.

Oversized egos and meticulous planning about the future may bark, but it is reality that bites.

6 comments:

Nona said...

:)

anamika said...

@sj - interesting! loved reading the argument and the aftermath and how the life of you two turned just the opposite of your predictions! Life is indeed interesting - kind of in similar boat myself!

Scribbler said...

@Nona
:)

@anamika
Good to know you could relate to it. I think all of us who lead lives in a different country may be in a similar boat.

UL said...

Just one question - "software engineers like us chose to immigrate to another country?" what is your answer to that today? -well ,of course you can ban me from your spance if we get into another argument

I dont know about being in similar boats, i am always itching to move on - no matter where i am - 'new and starting afresh gives me a kick like no other'

Scribbler said...

@UL

My answer to that today is till the one I had 10 years ago; and I think my friend's is still the same. What changed is the choice we decided to make after a while. BTW, the "us" was not a generalization, it just meant him and me. Bad use of English I guess!

Ban you from here? No way! What will I do if I ban readers like you who read posts , leave comments and spur further discussion?

UL said...

meaning you are here for the money and the luxuries it provides and would pack up and move back if you could earn more in India? or that like your friend said - you are here for the opportunities that the country can provide??