My annoyance list for the year end

Its not surprising that when the year is winding down to a close, you spot lists at all possible places - best people, worst people, best cars, worst news stories - you get the point. I think the reason they are popular is because its an articulate way of asking "Do you remember this time when..?" and we go - "oooooh yeah I remember!"

To avoid falling off the bandwagon, I thought I would compile a list of my own - no , they are not best or worsts, but just annoyances that one has to deal with while treading the natural terrains of life. And they are year, age and gender agnostic. So here goes...

• Friends calling up asking for a recommendation and then turning the tables on you. The story begins when they call up asking your recommendation on something they want to buy (like a DVD player, TV or something similar). So you start with what you own and why you bought it and then go on to explain why you like it. That is when they turn all "Simon" on you. Barrage of questions follow - "Did you know it had this fault?", "On the product web page, I read so many bad reviews - Did you read those"?, "How come you paid so much for that? I did some research and found out that you can get it for much less". My mental response - "Well buddy, some of us just want to get the stuff we want instead of wasting time ridiculing your friends about their choices.". My actual response - "Yeah I guess I did not do enough research, looks like you are an expert on this" and ending the conversation to the sound of their victory smirk.
• Grownups who mimic baby talk when talking to babies. Imagine this - You had a bad fall and broke a leg. After physiotherapy, you are slowly trying to walk in a normal fashion - and everyone in your house limps and imitates your walk thinking they can communicate better. Yeah - that.would.be.TERRIBLE. I am no pediatrician or child expert, but I think what is going on in the baby's mind is this - "Come on, can you give me a break here? I get it, my speech is not as perfect as yours, but you don't have to make those funny lip movements and tongue twists to talk to me- Maybe you haven't noticed, my ears are just fine!"
• Car owners who register their cars as "my {Insert premium car name here}". OK, so you had the guts or the money to get a brand name car. But that doesn't make the rest of us any less owners of our cars. I imagine you don't have a big "My House" in front of your house or your spouse does not have "My spouse" tattooed on her forehead - so why make an exception for the car?
• Folks who act surprised when you get a new piece of information. "Oh you did not know that?", they say, with their eyebrows up to their hairline. "It's been that way since way back when.." and the surprise morphs into contempt and sympathy for your lack of upkeep in worldly events. Where is the empathy for the busy lives of others? If I could express my opinion (well, I will - last time I checked, this was still MY Blog - refer previous bullet point :-)), let me say this - "Look, I don't know what kind of purposeless life you live, but, I have to pay attention to my job, life and family, so a little delay in getting irrelevant information can't hurt me that much."
• White bath appliances. Who ever came up with the idea? Every little dust particle, every speck of calcium eventually translates into hours of cleaning to be done by us mere mortals. Plus, if it were a darker color, I could see all the gray hair falling off instead of worrying about hair loss. At this age, I am sure small reassurances like that could calm me down a bit now and then.
  
• God complex owners who use their middle finger on every occasion. Just because it is attached to your body and you can lift it up without added effort, does not make the gesture more socially acceptable. (Guys, get the analogy I am trying to make here?) Of course, we could retaliate by mirroring it, but that would defeat the purpose - like waging a war to achieve peace.
• Finally, blog posts like these that spew anger and annoyance. I see them propping up more and more on the web nowadays - as more surfers venture into the ocean of blogs and the Internet. There is so much love to pass around in the world, why would you want to crib about things that cause displeasure just to you? Ain't that pigeonholing?

Joy and Peace to the World!

Of slums, dogs and millionaires

Last night, I got to watch "Slumdog Millionaire" at the local cinema. I know many of my readers are anxiously waiting to see it and want to know how it is. So here goes, my first attempt at reviewing a movie.

If I were to sum up "Slumdog Millionaire" in 3 words, those words would be "feel good movie". Director Danny Boyle(famous for directing Trainspotting, Millions and 28 days later) has blended life, liberty and the pursuit of love of an impoverished Mumbai slum dweller into a carefully crafted "rags to riches" narrative. The movie starts with Jamal(referred to as "Slumdog" in the movie mutliple times) being just one question away from winning 20 million rupees in a game show. The audience is then asked the question - how did he get here? "Slumdog" then takes the audience through an amazing journey of Jamal's life until that point in time; simultaneously answering the question that was asked in the opening sequence.

The director has successfully taken a book (Q & A by Vikas Swarup) that was intended for an Indian audience and transformed it into a piece of cinema that can be enjoyed globally. The storyline blends reality, destiny, comedy(intermittent) and miracle, so there are some parts where you may find it a little cheesy. I think the movie is at its best when the main characters are going through their childhood phase. The child actors are superb, to say the least, and add a lot of substance to the soul of the movie. It is when they grow up (now played by different actors) that they change their language to English (earlier parts of the movie feature Hindi dialogues with English subtitles) at which point the movie loses a bit of authenticity since the actors clearly are trying to put on an Indian accent. (Grown up Jamal is played by Dev Patel, who was born and raised in the UK).

The high points of the movie are its direction, cinematography and music (A. R. Rahman - who needs no introduction). Story narration is outstanding, and coupled with intertwining multiple timelines, lets the audience figure out obvious missing clues of the story instead of being spoon fed. The cinematography is par excellence- panoramic, aerial and closeup shots combine to create a wonderful palette of imagery giving a real sense of how you would see the world when you live on the streets of Mumbai. One of the highlights of the movie is a chase scene through a slum - as the camera moves, it captures all vital elements of a slum - poverty, diversity and irony ( a Benz car passing through the slum). The panoramic shot of a row of slum loos could be easily mistaken for personalized spa rooms at a jungle resort.

And then, there is the music. That is what keeps you engaged throughout the entire movie. When the situation is a nail biter, the music takes your brain out of the seat and into the actual location. It has combined elements of Indian and western instruments and embodies the mood of the movie at all times. Kudos to Rahman for a job well done.

In the acting department, both Anil Kapoor(host of the game shaow) and Irfan Khan(cop who questions Jamal) have done a great job. As I mentioned before, the child artists are a feast to the eyes. Danny Boyle has proved that he can direct kids very well (Millions) and in this movie he does it again. Dev Patel (as Jamal) has done justice to the central character. Mahesh Manjrekar (acclaimed director of Vaastav who plays Jaaved the Don in this movie) deserves a special mention. The rest of the cast do just enough acting so that the movie does not fall flat on character portrayal.

To sum it up, "Slumdog" is definitely worth a watch in the cinema. Let me warn you, if you are softhearted, there are some parts that may make you squirm - but not too much that I would advise you to stay away from it. The movie manages to stay out of making political commentary or social statements, so a lot of stuff that is happening on screen only manage to slightly bruise your conscience.

Are you still reading the review? Go, watch the movie and if possible, let me know what you think of it.

Are we protecting our kids too much?

Last week, I was discussing politics with one of my friends over the phone when suddenly my son ran up to me and said "Dad you said a bad word!". I paused for a bit, taking time to replay my conversation on the phone for the last couple of minutes. Nothing seemed to come up in the "Not allowed while kids around" list. I turned to him and asked - which word? I still had a guilty look on my face - my conversation was about politics; and politicians usually can only be described in words that would not be uttered in a PG-13 movie. "You said 'stupid', dad" my son said with a wide smile which I am sure was the product of the role reversal that just happened - he caught ME doing something bad. At this point, I felt I was under a two pronged emotional attack - I was being falsely accused; and my son was being shielded from the words that are as common as - well, the common cold. "What? Stupid is a bad word?" - No, that was not me, it was my friend on the other end of the phone. On realizing he was still on the phone, I hastily said bye to him and hung up. I then went on to convince my son that "stupid" was not a bad word; its only when you call someone stupid that it takes on the bad meaning. To illustrate it further, I said the rule that had been put forth by the teacher was stupid, but calling the teacher stupid for putting out that rule would be plain wrong.

And now on to my deeper thoughts on the incident (which of course, led to the origin of this post).

Of course, everyone has their own acceptable level of what falls into the good and bad category which I think, is a result of a recipe that has equal parts of personal values, culture, religion and upbringing. But how much should we shield our children to the harsh realities of the world? I think we are speedily embracing a culture of over protecting our kids. 'Stupid' and 'dumb' are bad words, even news about small acts of barbarism are preceded with a caution - "may not be suitable for young children". I am not advocating that you should take your kids to a Quentin Tarantino movie to teach them about human brutality, but come on, when did "Tom and Jerry" become too violent and graphic for children just because a cat is shredding a mouse into pieces?

Kids in the so called "developed societies" are taught that everybody wins every time. Junior Baseball has been replaced by tee ball where everybody gets a shot and nobody loses. Ratings for reading aptitude have been replaced by fast, faster and fastest so that even the slowest reader is reading "fast". Calculators are being introduced in classes as early as the second grade so that the kids don't sweat out basic arithmetic. When we were planning games for my son's birthday, the overwhelming piece of advice we got was "Make sure there are no winners and losers". Is that the right message that is supposed to prepare them for an ultra competitive world out there? In a true global economy can our kids compete with kids all around the world where they are raised in tougher neighborhoods and have more exposure to the world as is instead of the polished and sugar coated version that is more kid-friendly? I mean, who are we kidding here?

So I say this - (Though I have no credentials in good child upbringing nor am I trained in doing so)
* Lay off that hand sanitizer which you use to wipe their hands every time they touch something you think is dirty; teach them rules of personal hygiene and let them decide on what they can or cannot touch.
* Get rid of games where everybody wins every time; teach them that a gracious loser is as honorable as the winner; point out their mistakes so they can correct it and become a winner the next time around.
* Let them play in the mud and touch things that they find interesting(As long as they are not in the hazardous materials list). Feed their curiosity about the unknown and when they are done, make sure they understand what they should do to get cleaned up. Remember all those good times when you were playing out in the elements of nature and having loads of fun because your parents had not seen all the ads about bacteria, dust mites, hand sanitizers and disinfecting wipes?
* Make them aware of evil elements in the world, let them know that there are good actions and bad actions that happen in the world and in baby steps, expose them to cruel acts that happen to their fellow human beings around the world. After all, if they cannot identify evil, how will they stay away from it or take steps so that they are not a part of it?
* Let them know they are privileged and lucky to have a life where most of their basic needs are met ( I am sure that wont be convincing for them because they always feel you don't get anything they want at the supermarket :-)) and that you are privileged and lucky to have them.

Lets not shape our kids into delicate flowers that can whither away in the slightest of winds or droop down under the morning sunlight. Lets try to make them tougher than us so that they can fight the strongest tempests of the new "truly global" world and come out victorious.

Oh that reminds me, I have to rush for an appointment at school - Discussion with my son's teacher on why I am being a "bad" parent and breaking rules set by the teacher. I have to say, I am NOT looking forward to that meeting. Ciao!

Born into a better world - Not!

Excuse me for the Borat style pun there, but it came to be for a reason. When my daughter was born, I started a post about how she was born into a better world; about how the world has changed for the better for women, how the debate on global warming had become a call for action; how the people of a democracy had chosen hope over fear.

All of it came to a halt abruptly when a mass of evil disguised as human beings terrified the city of Mumbai for 4 days. I disagree with people who call them "pure unadulterated evil" - I think its an oxymoron - pure and unadulterated should never be in the same context as evil. I parsed through all news reports and remained glued to the television - so I could fathom the other extreme of "angel". I have to say, there is no yard stick nor a tape measure in the world long enough to measure the amount of devilishness that was spewed by their actions.

I switched channels and then I saw the news story of a Walmart employee who was trampled under a group pf people looking for the best deal. I guess when the world is all about material love, good looks and the gloriousness of boasting about good deals, it is not so tough to choose between a "rollback" and a human life. My faith in humanity was dwindling fast like the stock market indicator of a crumbling economy.

Assuming that there are more good people in this world than bad people - why is it that bad deeds are way more in number and effective than good deeds? Here is what I think - Good people have great intentions, but they are never dedicated to their cause like the other clan, they never undergo training nor do they rehearse their plan of action and they never focus on how precise their deeds need to be. The good people have purpose, intention, prayers and goodwill, but never the resolve and persuasion that the people on the other end of their spectrum have - except of course, when the opposite forces meet eye to eye .

As a part of the good side of people, let us all create that energy, a sense of urgency, a determination to fight for a cause and raise awareness about it - the only difference being that this cause supports greater good. Think what we can do to educate the under educated, help people who support evil regimes because they are the only people who feed them and take care of them and spread the message about tolerance and the idea of human race as "one". Of course, your armor and ammunition is right in front of you - the computer. Click, search and read about volunteering, donating and stories of people who became the change they wanted to see. Then decide on a strategy, draw up an action plan and go about executing it.

If all the good people upgraded their intentions and deeds to actions, one day some dad will be able to post a blog about how his baby was born into a better world than what he was born into. Lets at least give it a try - I am sure he will be thankful.

Furiously yours.

P.S. I hope when the Indian NSG was pointing his gun at the terrorist for the final assault, this thought came to him at least for a nanosecond - "Don't let the door hit you on your way out of this world - Don't even think of a reincarnation; I, WILL MAKE SURE IT DOESN'T HAPPEN."

Dearth of Posts

Hello readers,

I know that there has been a dearth of posts recently in my blog. We have been blessed with a beautiful baby girl,(I know the term beautiful is relative - all parents feel their kids are beautiful :-)) so I am going to take some time off to enjoy all the fun, baby smells and sleepless nights she has to offer. 

Meanwhile, if any of you have been checking in for new posts, please appetize (I don't think that's an actual word)  yourself with my thanks and apologies. I will be back to a screen near you shortly.

See you all in a week.

Happy Obama Day!

November 5, 2008 is a brand new day for the US of A. Voters triumphed over Pundits, Practicality triumphed over Prejudice, Intellect triumphed over Ignorance and most importantly, Hope triumphed over Fear. To put it more simply, the American people overcame their vulnerabilities as human beings and united for a greater cause fueled by hope. They got out of the train they had been traveling for the past 8 years and embarked on another one in a totally different direction.

I propose that the world celebrate this day as "Obama Day" signifying things that are much larger than Obama. He will be after all, like the Olympic torchbearer, who carries the torch lit by the millions of people he inspired. It is now his responsibility to carry this torch around the world, light many more like it and pave the way for more torchbearers. This day should remind all of us of the immense power we have - as citizens of democratic nations in the world. It also signifies how important democracy is and how easily it can be toppled by waving the magic wand - of fear; of terror and of the dark unknown. Let this day bring light into those dark tunnels that we are so afraid of - as light is still the best fear fighter known to mankind.

May this day also mark a symbolic beginning to the end of two wars - one, the unjust war in Iraq and the other, the American civil war on the middle class. America has the largest wealth gap between people in any developing country - it is a nation of the select few who have everything and everybody else who have select few things to hang on.

No matter what your political leanings are, let this day remind you that democracy is to be treasured, opposing opinions are not to be caged and that even though you are just one among the many billions in the world, you are not insignificant in the grander scheme of things. Let us as human beings, not underestimate the power of leaders who organize at grass roots, inspire men, women and children in the hope of a better future for mankind as a whole - it takes a great deal of courage, thick skin and humility to do what they do. Let us rise above our feelings of discouragement (things will never change, efforts will be futile, the rich and the privileged will always have their way by throwing more money into it) and hope that even if their chances seem grim in the beginning, they might just end up changing the world. Above all, let us teach, inspire and influence our kids to be like these leaders and to always do the right thing - though the rewards of their deeds may not be instantaneous.

Here's to hoping that all of us find our moment of awakening and not shy away from it. It was a ride in a first class compartment for Gandhiji, who then went on to inspire Martin Luther King, who in turn, paved the way for Obama. Happy Obama Day, everybody!

The cost of being ugly

Amidst all the fanfare of the 2008 Olympics opening ceremony, one story particularly struck me. An article about how the Olympics committee members replaced the singer for the opening ceremony with a cuter kid who ended up doing a voice over of the song(link). I thought about it for sometime and then its relevance (to the world and to me) got lost in the "race for 8" news features about Micheal Phelps.

Last weekend, I attended a birthday party with my son. As in all birthday parties for kids, there was a person dressed up as a clown to entertain the kids. Halfway through her mediocre routine (the kids would disagree with me on that one) , she messed up a magic trick. The fumble was apparent to all the grown ups, but the kids hardly noticed. She made a good comeback and fell back on track to continue her act. It was then that one of the parents standing next to me shook his head in disdain - and when he noticed that I was watching, hushed the words - "and she is not even good looking".

This was when the Olympics article sprung back to my mind. Do people have to work harder to make up for their ugliness? Have homosapiens evolved into shallow beings who don't see through a pretty face? Grownups may understand the concept of beauty and "image to the world", but what about kids? I am curious to know how they went about explaining to the little kid that they would be using her song, but not her face.

In this thought process, I went back and searched in my memory dump - How many times have I witnessed or heard of similar events? Have I ever been a victim of this? (Well, I never had a talent for anything, so I may not be included in this discussion :-)). My friends? Colleagues?. Slowly but steadily, I could recollect incidents that happened to people I knew. Decisions had been made with emphasis on good looks rather than merits. What do you think? Have you ever been through such judgment? Looking back, do you think your good appearance or lack of it have shaped some of the outcomes in your life? I agree that there are certain jobs that carries good looks as a necessity, but it is unfair to say that it should be applied to all categories in the spectrum.

Ugliness certainly is expensive in our times - think of all the money spent on creams, laser treatments, Botox and plastic surgery. And beauty most certainly is not skin deep. It is sad that all these treatments do not treat the underlying problem - lack of confidence and low self esteem. After all, who is not impressed by a confident person?

So stay confident my friends - if your mirror is not friendly to you, throw your confidence at it and grab it by its neck, I am sure it will definitely come around.

Fear is Big Business

If all you want is security, you may become more afraid of life than death.

- James F. Byrnes, American statesman. 

Last week, I took my car in for service to the dealer. I was prepared for the usual - oil change, tire rotation and maybe some usual maintenance checklist items. Upon completion of my check-in, I was given a pamphlet that had information about an "Automatic Transmission fluid flushing service". Usually, I would just toss it out into the trash can, but this one had a lot of photos and detail about the service. It had photos about how the fluid looked at various stages of the car's life. I eagerly looked up the one closest to the miles my car had (around 55,000) and it looked bad - I mean really bad. Though the photo was a little magnified, I instantly felt scared about carrying around that much filth in my car, so I raced back to the service personnel and requested him to add the service to the list of repairs.

Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.

 - Marie Curie, Renowned physicist and chemist.

I was feeling a big sense of clean and sparkle (reminded me of the "after flush" photo in the pamphlet) while driving back and also a sense of accomplishment. Once I was home, I started to read the literature about the transmission flush in more detail and it was then that I read the fine print - "Pictures assume that you have never had an ATF flush".  Suddenly, I was dwarfed all by the world around me. The ATF flush had been done previously for my car - in fact for all the major services. Oh no, I had been duped - by my fear of bad mojo happening to my car. After a while, I redeemed myself from that shame and started thinking - how many decisions do we make as a result of fear? How many times have we been influenced by our fears to act differently than we would otherwise?

You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you. 

 - Eric Hoffer, American social writer.

Have our career decisions been made out of the fear of trying something we really wanted? How about the purchase of our assets? How about decisions that involved starting a family and having a home? These may be questions that require deep thought in order to find answers. We could get a clue of our thought process by treading into less murkier waters. Let us think about the train of thought that goes into decisions that we take daily. What do we think about when we decide on buying a battery? Will this commercial (link) influence us to buy the batterythat is  advertised? Will this ad (link) affect our way of thinking about the car we want? Or will this ad (link) make us worry more about how secure our home is? We have seen political ads that spark fear to influence the way we vote. It has also been used to shape policy changes (link) - since research proves that fear trumps over all the other urges to weigh pros and cons of public policy.

No passion so effectually robs the mind of all its powers of acting and reasoning as fear.

 - Edmund Burke, British political writer.

We may be influenced by fear more than we think. Think of all the additional insurance purchases we have made, those "peace mind" warranties and "extended travel assurance" policies we have signed up for. What about those "high risk" career changes and the fear of repercussions from your boss that is preventing you to say what is on your mind? 

Failure seldom stops you. What stops you is the fear of failure.

 - Jack Lemmon, American actor.

It can be argued that many of these can be attributed to be "playing safe" rather than being scared. Everyone has a self proven way of making their decisions. In my opinion, it would be in our best interests to think before making a decision ( big or small) , to face our fears, weigh its rationality and then  - act on it. Who knows, analyzing our fear may morph into courage and do wonders for us.

Do the thing we fear, and the death of fear is certain.

 - Ralph Waldo Emerson, American  poet, essayist and lecturer.

Stay fearless, my friends  - and be on the lookout for people with fear shots heading your way.

Goof off - You earned it!

The other day, I was slowly cutting through the chores of the day and knocking down the "ToDo"s one by one, when I was interrupted by an instant message from my friend's sister - "U there?". Delighted by the interruption and unusual discourse from my daily grind, I replied "yep very much here; what's up?"

She went on to say that she just wanted to talk since she was feeling sleepy and wanted to strike a conversation so she could focus back on work again. I was more than happy to oblige.

"Why are you not learning anything?"
"What?", I responded, and then added, "I am in the technology domain, I learn new things on a daily basis and I make an effort to pick up new stuff to prevent my slow slide to obscurity at work"
"No not that - like higher studies, an MBA or something similar"
"Well, I already have a masters, so I don't think I need an MBA.."
"But..but..you could do something to advance your career; look at all the time you are wasting while trying to learn guitar, play volleyball, badminton and watching TV - you could be learning something useful!"
And the conversation went on.

****

That got me thinking - All the time we spent on activities for selfish enjoyment, are we hampering our chances to advance in the corporate ladder? In other words, is life all about making it better? I think no - what is the fun in the journey when you don't have time to stop for a bit and reflect upon how far you have traveled? Shouldn't you be taking a breather exploiting the fruits of all your hard work? Sure - the million dollar mansion, that luxury car and branded clothes you wear while working hard could enhance your sense of achievement, but if you don't have time to unwind and enjoy it, is it worth having?

Countless times, we have been witness to stories where a person loses everything dear to them in the pursuit of their definition of success and achievement. "But I was working hard for all of you so you could enjoy all these worldly pleasures" goes the main character. The supporting cast promptly replies - "That maybe true, but you weren't here when we needed you".

So I say - if you can goof off without worrying about what life throws at you next and you are sure you have provided just enough for people who depend on you, you have it good. I will even say that you have earned it - payback for all the toil you put in earlier in your life. Learn an instrument you know you will be bad at, play games you have never even considered playing, keep changing channels mindlessly on your TV, scratch your genitals and get screamed at by your wife for it (this is for men, don't know what equates for women), sleep in on weekends, take your kids for trick or treating dressed up as a monster while there is a burning customer issue and spend countless hours perfecting your conspiracy theories. I guarantee you, these have lasting effects on your longevity than the alternatives. Sure enough, you will be labeled as complacent, lazy and just as a 'moderate success', but then, isn't fun always accompanied by some flak?

Or you could pursue life advancement, use up all your weekends and evenings for it, simultaneously advancing your age for enjoying the fruits of your labor. You may have a target for when you think your life is "stable enough" but mind you, it will be a moving target and will always look different when viewed through different age lenses.

As for me, I choose to make frequent stops in my fun journey, take in the view and let the breeze hit my face before moving on to what lies ahead.

****

Back to my Instant messaging exchange - we were just finishing up and she typed
"thanks a lot - you sparked something I can fuel my thoughts on"
"You are welcome"
"..and I don't feel sleepy now, good that I decided to chat with you"
"You are welcome for that too..bye"

I could bask in the glory of that praise - or I could look up online courses on how to improve communication skills, sign up for one, take up a secondary career on it, get paid more for perfecting more career advancing skills, ..., ...

No prizes for correctly guessing the path I chose.

The "Whorification" of American Mainstream Media

According to the merriam-webster online dictionary, the third entry for the word "whore" is a venal (capable of being bought or obtained for money or other valuable consideration) or an unscrupulous (unprincipled) person. Unfortunately, that is what the American mainstream media has embodied itself to be in modern times. From the "embedded" coverage of the second Iraq war (Testosterone oozing out of some journalists embedded in those Abrams tanks - a pure one sided coverage of news while being in the comfort zone of protection by the troops) to the most recent coverage of the American economic crisis(where the money honeys were asking "so how do you feel?" to the guy who just got laid off from Lehman brothers), the media has just become a sounding box for anyone who claims to be a "pundit" or a "strategist". Though all the talking heads repeat the words "we report - you decide", anyone watching can attest to the fact that what flows is just a plethora of opinions - some personal, some derivative, and some, based on pure hypothesis.

Today's technology has replaced the delivery mechanism of television from what we used to know as "public airwaves" with cable and satellite transmissions. When good old "public airwaves" were being used, the broadcasting agencies had a responsibility to the public - deliver news and analysis to keep the wheels of democracy turning. Long gone are those days where "responsibility to the public" mattered. All that media caters to are large corporations and the blind ambition to turn in more cha-ching.

The other day, I saw a network transform from "The best political team on television" to "The hurricane headquarters" in a matter of minutes based on a satellite image that gave away an approaching hurricane. To my surprise, it was the same team - now that's what I call a real transformation (So long, Transformer action figures!). What they are good at, is airing a wonderful menagerie of images and utilizing the greatest in technology (can somebody say surface computing and satellite video phones?) to deliver their so called "breaking news". The only thing that it is breaking is the common man's intellect and ability to think in the objective sense. The networks invent another side of every story in the interest of making it "fair and balanced". I think it is fair to say that sometimes, the story need not have another side; they are either morally right or wrong. Would they have brought in Al Qaieda to talk about their view point on the 911 attacks? That would make absolutely no sense since the attacks were wrong - from every point of view. Talking about fair and balanced, isn't it a national shame that Fox(spelt F-A-L-S-E) is still recognized as a real news network?

Where are the hard hitting questions? Why is investigative journalism an alien concept? You may think they could be put on the endangered species list, but if you watch carefully, you will find they are alive, well and thriving in the segments where the lives of celebrities and socialists are chronicled. The new breed of analysts include a former sportscaster, a former Miss New Hampshire and a former music DJ. Now, I am not suggesting that being one of these undermine their analytical capabilities, but it sure looks like being an analyst was not their number one priority. It seems to be dream job ambrosia - they get to wear pretty clothes, look good, invite random pundits and strategists and ask questions (that have everything but substance) to each of the heads in the "talking boxes" (I remember being excited on discovering "picture-in-picture" television, but never fathomed that it would come to this sorry state). Analysts were introduced in the early days of television to think, and ask questions to people who shaped policies and influenced public thought (what the average Joe could not do).The role reversal has been dramatic of late - the average joes are starting blogs, going on fact finding missions and exposing lies and false statements - "in your face reporting" as I would like to call it; while the analyst has undergone metamorphism into average joe.

Here's an experiment you can try. Watch an advertisement segment between two cycles of media content. Then keep track of how many ads cater to you (the average American consumer). To your surprise you will find very few. Last time I tried it, I counted only two - one I don't need to buy yet(Viagra), and the other, I cannot afford to buy yet (Benz CLK). The rest of them were for Energy companies, transportation companies and one for American chemistry(what?). I don't know about you, but I am certainly not going to Walgreens and order me some ConocoPhilps, Clean coal energy or demand that I need goods from the CSX train company. So therein lies the actual question - why are these companies funneling dollars into the news networks telling us about how they are the custodians of our future and how they are trying their best to keep the environment clean? Irony, it seems, is the underlying theme of their campaign - or it could be to influence news coverage best fitted to their corporate agenda. Who am I to judge? I am just an average guy watching the "idiot box" - except this time around, the idiots are at both ends.

So clearly, it can be deduced that journalism in its true sense, is dying and the networks are in bed with corporations, energy companies and special interests. So it should not be a surprise why real reporters are fleeing from the so called "Mainstream Media" to places where journalism is still alive(link) or prefer to do more "field reporting".

Remember, it is all a quest for your eyeballs - viewership is king - so make sure you watch what you need to watch and skip the ones that are disguised as journalism, thereby bringing soul into their lifeless, yet attractive, money hogging body.

Theme for the blog...Suggested; but good idea?

In the recent days of shameless self promotion for my blog and in the follow up conversations, I have been asked - What is the theme of your blog? I then googled on - "how to write successful blogs" and almost all the websites suggested to stick to a theme. It was then it struck me - My blog does not have a theme and I am to blame.

Imagine this - you wake up one day and decide that you will restricting your activities to a theme - Conversations, meetings, food, prayers and thoughts. Would it be possible? Yeah, I agree, tough act to perform.

Afterward, as I was channel surfing and I thought about it some more. I asked myself several questions - What would the theme for my blog be? How would I channel my thoughts in just one direction? How can I ignore the questions I ask myself about everything that happens in our world? When I came out of the conversation to my inner self, I listened to some of the "news" channels and thought - "May be I should write something about how the public air waves have been hijacked by corporations and their affiliates by contributing ad money and influencing the news." There - more proof that I cannot stick to one subject.

I think one's blog is like a garden ( apologies to the plantophobics reading this) - where you tend to and grow stuff that you like - a bonus if some of the folks walking by like it and appreciate it. Some disappointment may occur when some of them do not like it, but then you wouldn't want to force a conversation with them anyway (You don't want to get caught in a conversion defending your choice to grow white roses instead of the red ones!). The plants that you grow can only get true attention when you love to watch them grow and flourish; otherwise it is just a waiting game for approval.

To the readers, I will promise you this - I will keep the posts relatively short and straight; and about how small things make us think about stuff that is larger than us mortals. And I request that you keep your part of the deal by logging comments and being constructively critical.

Lastly, Here are some of the interesting comments I received for my posts. I have only posted the ones without praise - since they require more attention and are also funny :-)

"Sorry man - If it does not fit in one screen, I don't read it"
"I guess it is a long winded way of saying - go green"
"Feeling bored and feeling good at the same time" ( A spoof of my earlier post tile)
"Keep writing - that is the only way you will get better" (Meaning I have a lot of writing to do)
"What the heck is this dentist thing? - Why don't you write about how you picked up girls at the dance club?"

Let me answer the last question through the words of one of my favorite stand up comedian Lavelle Crawford - "I appreciate the fact that you think I can knock down a couple of girls at the dance club, but don't you think I would want to keep that experience private?"

Happy reading!

If you can't beat 'em, acquire 'em

As Goliath was carrying on his "business as usual" in the valley, he saw David and his small team of supporters coming up in the horizon. David had his game face on and had the famous 'slingshot' armed. They gazed furiously at each other, replaying their attack plans in their heads and calming their nerves in preparation for the forthcoming confrontation.

***

As I settled in my seat at the office, I sensed a tickle in my brain. It was my instinct telling me that something wasn't right. There was a bag of bagels left at our project room table (Almost always, they are left overs from a failed attempt of the executives to please clients). Turns out, it was just a start - then came three visits from three top people in our company - all beginning with the same question; "How are you guys doing?". They were all dressed to impress and some of them had flown cross country to be here. That did it - I was now 'officially' freaked out.

***

As Goliath was about to scream and run at his opponent, a wise man grabbed his hand and said to him - "I would like to have a word with you". David watched carefully as Goliath leaned down and patiently listened to the wise man. As if he had gained some wisdom of his own, Goliath nodded his head in agreement and a smile dawned on his face.

***

The next day at the office was just as confusing - there were unforeseen preparations for our all hands meeting. Our accountant came by and said - "Guys, I have been to hell and back". She did not look too happy, so I had to assume that her trip to hell did not go well. Then it was deja vu - executives came by asking "How are you guys doing?" Email threads went out asking for suggestions for the food at the all hands meeting. (To be honest, I think the name "All Hands Meeting" is derived from "All the Hands" gulping down free food. Seriously, that is the only part were all hands are involved.) One of my colleagues suggested Kabobs and that stuck. Towards noon(the all hands meeting was scheduled to happen at noon), tensions were rising and I did not know what was my number one priority - feeding my hunger or quenching my thirst for definitive answers.

***

Goliath collected his thoughts for a while and then talked to a couple more people in his army. All shook their heads in agreement and then Goliath slowly walked towards David. David stood his ground, never doubting his strength for a moment, still aiming his slingshot at Goliath. David's supporters were not as strong as David - their knees shivered and heads drooped down as they waited for the inevitable arrival of Goliath.

***

At the all hands meeting, we were finally informed of what had been brewing. Our company had been acquired. Another company of giant proportions was "excited" about our products and thought we were all "experts" at what we did - so they bought us. Fate always finds ways to amuse itself. As we were eating the kabobs, we were also told that there was one casualty in the process - my colleague who had suggested kabobs for lunch. As a good gesture, he was invited back to have the kabobs( I suspect guilt had something to do with it). It was then that I saw the perfect mating of socialism and capitalism - the 'corporation' and the 'person' understanding the forces at work behind all this (one doing a much better job than the other. No prices for guessing the right answer though). We all came back to our offices dazed and confused even though the corporate textbook on how to be a successful human being says "A stable job and a big company are must ingredients for happiness". History has the advantage of hindsight, so I guess I will have to judge the textbook in the future.

***

David was taken aback when Goliath hugged him and shouted - "Congratulations!" He then shook David's hand and continued - "We are one team now. We tried to build the slingshot and failed, so let us work together to make your slingshot better." David was confused since he did not know whether he had beaten his enemy or his enemy had beaten him. All of his "go to men" were cheering and so were Goliaths'; so he figured it must be a win-win situation. When his moment of confusion passed, he suddenly realized that he no longer had his slingshot. Goliath's supporters had taken it and were already discussing plans to make it meaner, more appealing to the masses and how to retrofit it to their armoury specifications.

***

With smarter corporations and the ever blurring definition of "success", it is time to rewrite the most popular underdog story of our times.

My friends, it has been a pleasure to present to you, David Vs. Goliath 2.0.

Power to the voter

Represent! Show your agreement or disagreement of the way things are - Show them the finger! (No, not literally, but by putting it down on a voting machine.)

Of course, this is only possible in a democratic country. So if you live in a nation that is one, please don't throw away the power to vote. Sacrifices that people made to get rid of dictatorship and colonialism should not be forgotten; nor should it be in vain.

I have always been a big proponent of voting. A huge chunk of the population thought that their vote would not make a difference in the US presidential election of 2000. Boy, did they get it wrong on that one or what? So, it doesn't matter what your political belief is - get out there and make yourself heard.

The reason I wanted to bring it up is this - recently Obama's campaign brought about an unprecedented change in campaign tactics. The gist of it being - if you sign up as a volunteer or supporter of their campaign, you would be among the first to be notified when Obama's VP choice is revealed - via text message. What better way to give power to the voter? The campaign bypassed all the experienced "pundits" and "Washington insiders" in the main stream media dishing out their "thoughts of righteousness" and "model citizen behavior". These days, they (the gawker media pundits) don't even know that they have the huge responsibility of sculpting public opinion. Its more a discourse of emotions, instincts and gotchas. I strongly recommend reading this short piece on the Obama campaign's tactic I mentioned above - unlike this piece, it is well written and gets to the precise point. Here it is - "Enjoying the cone of Silence". Sit back, relax and read how power to the voter can feel like.

Remember, not voting is like some one else telling you how to live your life. If you don't know what it feels like, just ask any person who is married.

How important is honest feedback?

He stood there, waiting for his mom to come home from work, holding a copy of his school magazine. His article had been published and he couldn't wait to show it to his mom. He had his finger as a bookmark at the page on which his story was printed. It was about a boy named "Raju", who did a good deed but met with bad consequences (This was the boy's idea of a surprising twist!). When his mom finally arrived, he ran to her and shouted out - "My story got printed, all my friends said it was great; look, look!". His mom took the book and then started reading it on her way into the house. She sat down on the sofa, let out a big heavy sigh when she was done reading and said "It is just OK; I don't know why your friends liked it so much though". It was then she saw the disappointment on her son's face, so she added - "I like the fact that you tried; And why does it have a different name as the author if you wrote it?"

"That is my pen name" - I said.

I was reminded of this incident when my son ran up to me and asked "Dad, look at what I drew, do you like it?". The look on his eyes said it all - He was proud of his work and he was expecting me to say "great job, wonderful". As a loving parent, what is the best way to handle such a situation? What if I did not like the drawing? Should I be a Simon Cowell or Paula Abdul in judging? (For those of you who do not know Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul or American Idol, planet earth sends her greetings and says she would like to have you back). I think dishing honest feedback about my story was one of the greatest favors my mom did to me. Being an avid reader, she instantly recognized that I was not cut out to be a writer and my material was mediocre at best. If I had listened to the glossy feedback of my friends, I would still be a struggling writer (not that I don't have struggles at what I do now), instead of having a career where I have someone pay me for the work I love to do. When is a good time to let your kids know that their talent is somewhere else; not where they think it is? Are you being fair to them by saying it is great work when its not that great and then they discover it for themselves when they are out in the real world? (thus having a more intense heartbreak). Or do you just hope that they would keep working at it until finally they are really good at it? I am constantly dogged with these questions every time I get asked "Dad, did you see how fast I ran?" or "Did you see the amazing tricks I just did?". Coming back to my son's drawing, I took the middle ground (a little bit of Simon and a little bit of Paula) and said - "I like it, but see here - these are some of the things you may need to work on". Yeah, I know what you are thinking, I did take the easy way out.

Every kid has talents and I think it is our obligation as a parent to help them identify the talent they are best at, and may be it comes with a cost of seeing them disappointed at times. I also think every kid is different and will react differently to same response. However, I do believe that the power of honest feedback should not be underestimated; who knows - it might influence his/her decision when they arrive at important crossroads in their life.

The other day my son, who is now four and a half, was reading a story book with me and he read the word "captivating"- just like that. Almost immediately, I said "great job, very nicely done" and I was being Simon Cowell; both at the same time. Folks, I think I have a clue on where his talent is going to be.

Feeling poor and feeling good at the same time

Headphones? check. Laptop bag? check. $1.75 exact change handy? check.

This was my first day of taking public transportation to work. I plugged in my earphones and slowly walked towards the bus stop. It was a pleasant sunny day; I could sense a small spring in my steps as a result of my mood elevation. Fast forward 12 minutes - I was at the bus stop waiting for bus number 57 to arrive. It was a small bus stop, complete with a bench that was empty, but I decided to stand and wait since I had so much adrenaline pumping.

As I stood there gazing at the cars zoom by in both directions, my enthusiasm seemed to be withering down in a slow and steady pace. It was then that I realized it - I was feeling poor. My brain was playing a slide show of all my prior years of taking public transportation. The sweaty waits at the bus stop, the entrapment of my nostrils near armpits of random people in a crowded bus and finally, hanging on to the bus like a sari upon a clotheslines on a windy day. Didn't I work hard so I could get the luxury of a car? Am I not privileged to my "own private space"?

I was woken up from my thoughts by a low hiss of a bus coming to a stop. I boarded the bus(now a less desiring object than I had previously imagined), found a seat, and settled in. Was this a wrong decision to begin with? But wait, I have a car now, and I was not on the bus because it was my only choice. This was a choice I made on my own terms(consciously and happily);lets investigate why.

I strongly believe that a consumer should be able to limit his/her consumption of a commodity as and when the price of that commodity fluctuates. With gas(or petrol as it is known in most places) prices at an astronomical high, I, as a consumer, should be able to say "Well, I don't need it that much anymore". But as we all know, in the case of gas, it doesn't work that way. I still have to drive the same amount of miles, and the miles per gallon equation is not one that I change without changing the car itself. Though speculation is being suspected for rising prices, the IEA(International Energy Agency) thinks its not so. The oil barons blame India and China for growing demand. While they are at it, they are also blaming India and China for global warming, population explosion and a boat load of other things. Yeah that's right, when corporations cannot find good reasons for ripping off people, blame it on the third world countries for having aspirations and working hard to achieve global status as a developed country(Did you know California's 20 billion gallon gasoline and diesel habit is greater than China’s or India’s?). I guess they need scapegoats to offset their guilt and reap the benefits of humanity's over dependence of
oil. Isn't it ironic that we still have debates on the validity of global warming when the damage it's doing to our planet is crystal clear?

From my research, the only effective way to stick it up to the oil man is to cut demand and there is no better way than to take up using public transportation (Driving less is also an option, but then that would be letting the oil company dictate your lifestyle). The fact that oil prices plunged around $25 when world's largest consumers of oil(USA leads among the pack) reduced their intake, is a glaring proof of the same. So why is not every one taking it up you ask? I think people equate public transportation(which comes packaged with lifestyle inconveniences) with under achievement in life. My feeling of poverty and a sense of luxury entitlement mentioned above may help solving a small piece of the puzzle.

So to my own surprise, I decided to rise above my little selfish needs and do something for the greater good. That brings us to where I left off earlier. The bus trip had given me benefits galore so far - a workout for my heart, hamstrings and gluteals, no speeding or speeding ticket worries, no tying the seat belt contraption around me (I am not into bondage and S&M anyway), all the time to dream, think and people watch. Plus, boarding a bus is number 14 on the 51 ways to fight global warming. "This is way beyond a good feeling" - I thought; "I think I am going to do this more often". I looked outside and realized that my point B was fast approaching.

Right bus stop? check. Laptop bag? check. Feel good factor from doing the right thing? checkmate.

Suggested replies for questions asked to a Desi!

Some suggestions from me on tackling questions usually asked to a Desi. They are original, so I take responsibility for any(or all) of them not being funny!

Oh, you are from India; Do you speak Indian?
Yes, I am speaking it right now. Its just the same as "american" but with a little accent sprinkled on it for flavor. You know how we Indians don't like anything that lacks flavor.
Why do Indians and Pakistanis hate each other so much?
It's simple really; it is a part of our budget friendly immigration policy. That way, we don't have to spend money on big walls to keep out illegal immigrants.
I can never understand the concept of an arranged marriage; Can you explain it to me?
Sure; its not so hard. You know how you guys find your "soul mate" and then get the assistance of a wedding planner to arrange everything else? Arranged marriage just works the other way. Our parents arrange our "soul mate" and the we arrange everything else for the wedding. Trust me, my parents have a bigger network than matchmaker.com and eharmony.com combined!
Are you dark skinned because you are from south India?
No. Every time a person who is ignorant about world culture asks me a question, my skin becomes a shade darker.
What is the status of your green card? How far along is it?
Since you seem to be so concerned, here's the URL to the INS status page.<>. Please let me know when my green card is in the mail; thanks.
Why do Hindus have so many gods?Well, as you know India is a socialist country. We believe in equal distribution of workload. I think just asking one or two gods to take care of prayers from millions of people is overkill.
Isn't eating with hands unhygienic?
No, because I know all the places my hands have been through; the forks and spoons - not so much. Havent you seen those shows that feature hidden cameras in restaurants? yuck!
How come you have such a long name?
Perhaps my parents worked harder to come up with a name that is meaningful and uncommon than simply settling for "Bob".

(Dear reader- Add your questions and answers in the comments and I will add it in the list.)

While at the dentist...

"Is it paining Sunil? "

As I lay flat on the dentist's seat with my mouth wide open and a wide tissue paper ( I am sure it has another proper name in dentist science) hung around my neck like an ornament, I shook my head in an effort to say "No, not at all". A small smile appeared on the dentist's face. I knew I was faking it - my hands were clutched together and the sweat glands on my palms were hard at work; my ankles were kissing each other and my heart was beating so strong that the dental instruments placed on my chest were jumping up and down.(The last part was exaggerated, but you get the point). I looked up at the Styrofoam roof (it's not like you've got many other options to lock in your gaze while you are at the mercy of your dentist), and it seemed as if the song coming from the speakers was a message from up above. It was the song from Police - "Every smile you fake, I will be watching you.."

And then, all of a sudden, I felt the feeling of calm. The pain killer had taken effect. I closed my eyes and thought - "How could I be such a hypocrite? I just denied having pain to a doctor who expects not to be lied to; someone who is working hard for my best health interests (hopefully). And that's when it got me thinking - maybe, just maybe, I picked up the trait from my home state of Kerala.

Before you throw up your arms in revolt, allow me to explain what prompted me to think so. Kerala has the highest literacy rate in the country (of India, stupid!), has the highest life expectancy, lowest birth rate and lowest infant mortality. Don't take my word for it, look it up here. So why is it that Kerala is dogged with high unemployment, lack of skilled workers and an undying urge of its native population to get out of the state? Kerala is known as the "middle east" of India to people of other states - in other words, thats where you go to make money. Still, there's an undying opinion of "ee naadu nannavilla" (translation: this state will not get better) from malayalis. Kerala movie audiences reject any sexual innuendo in malayalam movies, but flock to movies of other languages that have the same in abundance. While hard work and exemplary behavior are strictly out of bounds for them within the state borders, those are the same qualities that they use to make themselves extraordinary citizens outside their state. In a tourism perspective, it is "God's own country", but the devil is hard at work slowly eating out all the natural beauty of it from within. Is there really a kerala model that's playing out here?

Although all of the above assertions are generalized, I believe that generalizing the characterisitics of a state and its natives is not much of a far fetched idea. There is some truth to it and yes, there is also a lot of room for debate.

"Ok, I think the root canal is done - your numbness will come off in a bit. Hopefully it was not too painful", the doctor said, smiling. I did not waste time in gesturing that I did not even feel a thing - true in this case since I was engaged in an engaging thought process (in case you asked, yes, I do put myself in a pedestal once in a while)! Slowly, my pain killer started to wear off and so was my ability to think about stuff that does not affect my daily life. Maybe I should visit the dentist more often to get the creative brain juice flowing :-)

Aah, the pain killer is all gone now. Hello there - my native, naive self.

Welcome fellow earthlings!

Hello everyone!

A hearty welcome to my blog spot. Here you will find excerpts of what has been going through my thought process. I also hope to build it into a debate forum, Q & A stage and what not.

Never be reluctant to think, express and debate. Remember, a mind is like a parachute - it only works when open.

Happy trails!