The mind wanders...

A "pretend intellectual" piece on how a most recent ad reflects the hangovers of the caste system in India never made it here.
There was this piece where I wanted to write about how life plays itself out for a man who has more than his equal share of hair on his body.
Then there was a scribble about how I was mistaken for a gay man one evening.
Afterthoughts on a successful stint of 14 days of Bikram yoga never made it out of my head onto here.

Point being - As with other things in life, my plans on writing more posts remain half done. If I put my mind to it, I could get it done, but then that would be compulsive blogging - why would I want push out literary posts into a platform where bloggers graze abound and theres a lot of other stuff for people to read?

And yet, the mind wanders, tirelessly churning out thoughts, what ifs and why can'ts. It seems as though that a less than perfect world serves as a perfect amusement park for questioning minds.

For what it's worth, at least you got a preview of what is to come in this space in the near future.

Don't be a disaster journalist...

at least when chronicling life, that is.

Today, I was showing my daughter (who is almost a year now - time has the pace of a concord) the pleasure of being thrown up in the air. She was pleasantly surprised as was evident from her smile revealing her two small teeth. There is something in a baby's smile that attracts you like none other - may be its the innocence that they seamlessly possess or maybe its the fact that they are so un-adult (I know, its not a word) like.

The sun was shining bright through the window and its rays ignited a sparkle in her eyes. There it was - a moment I would  like to cherish and store - my daughter and I having a great time together.

But then , the inevitable afterthought had to ruin it for me. In life, we tend to be like disaster journalists when we chronicle our life. Flip through the photos in your mental photo album - have memories of unfortunate events registered  more than the pleasant ones? We tend to remember how friends, kith and kin were mean to us, how we got the short end of the stick in our lives and how hard it is to get through a normal day. When we grow old, will we talk about our kid's rebellion or will we talk about  all the fun time we had with them?

I don't know the answer, but I sure would like to capture the beauty of the moments that were pure joy and bliss, rather than focusing on the spectacle and ruin of moments that I would rather forget. The  truth is that bad moments hit us hard and the more we try to forget them, the more etched they are in our brains. Maybe the key is trying hard to forget the pleasures we own now, thereby digging it deeper into our memories.

BTW, did I tell you about the motorcycle accident I had? Oh wait...

Fireflies in a jar

Lights shone bright, music played crisp and his mood was elated. As he hummed  to the tune of the song that was being played, his hands kept going in and out of the small bag of chips he had on his lap. If he had paused for a moment and had a thought, that would have been "How could this moment get any better?".

And then, the lights went out.

Instantly, he was kicked out of his comfort zone. The bag of chips ceased to be a guilty pleasure. As he waddled through the dark corners of the room, he saw a small beam of amber light coming from a corner. He approached the source of that light swiftly, and as he turned the corner, he was delighted to find out what it was.

It was a jar of fireflies. He opened the lid and the fireflies flew out, lighting up his room. There he was, laying down again, being reminded of a night when the sky was clear and the stars shone bright. He then thought to himself - "How could this moment get any better?".

Come to think of it, isn't that how true friends are in life? They may seem insignificant or worthless when everything around you is bright and joyful. But then, when things go dark in your life, they come out and shine a light, however small, to instantly rid you of your phobias.

So get your jar if you don't have one already, and start collecting. Load up your quiver with more arrows to fight the uncertainties and unfortunate events in your life. The war of life will happen nonetheless, but you will be sufficiently armed for the onslaught. And carry the jar close to your heart as you hustle through the busy streets of life - who knows when you might need to turn the lid open? That scary dark street might be just a corner away.


P.S - I owe the conception of this thought stream to this lovely song - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aI4JLa0hbUw. I recommend taking a hear when you have some time to spare.

A series of fortunate events

(You are being forewarned - this is a long post; but I have done my best to keep it interesting. Hope you like it!)
******

"911. what is your emergency?"
I took a deep breath and replied -  "I am stuck in left most lane on highway 680. My SUV just refuses to start!"
---
We had been planning on going for a cabin trip for a while. The excitement really began to build in the last week prior to the trip. 7 of my friends, their families, a rusty wood cabin in south lake Tahoe and a weekend. Mix all of that in equal proportions and it becomes a perfect recipe for fun. I took off from work early that day and started packing for the trip.First step, clear all the junk that has piled up in my not so fuel efficient SUV. I cleaned up, locked the car, threw the trash in our apartment dumpster and got back to my home. It was then I noticed that the car key was missing. Maybe I left it in my other car - I thought. I took the keys of the other car and looked  - No, it isn't there. Then it struck me and the mere thought of it brought sweat to my temples - Yep, I had thrown it with the other trash into the dumpster. Fortunately, the dumpster had not been cleared yet, so I was able to retrieve it. While walking back, I thought - the other car is pretty messy too, I should clean it. So I followed through.
---
"Ok, is there anyone other than you in the car?"
"Yes - my wife, 2 kids and my mom". After making sure that all of us were alright, she said that she would send someone to help us in a couple of minutes.
---
"I think that's it", I said as I was looking around inside the apartment. "Right?" and I looked at my wife for reassurance. She usually remembers all the stuff that I forget (and most of the time, they are the most important ones). "I think so. If we missed anything, we can always buy it from there.",  she said as she was walking towards the car. Kids loaded? check. Seatbelts clicked? check.Directions? Check. "OK Jacob, let's go!" - I shouted in excitement and off we were to a fun trip. Or so we thought.
---
"Does this mean we won't be able to get to the cabin?" My son asked with tears rolling down his eyes.
"No, Jacob. I called someoone and they are going to send someone to help us."
"Yaaay!", came his reply. I was just glad that everyone in the car were calm and were not freaking out. I wouldn't be surprised if they did - After all, we were right in the middle of a highway, stranded in car on the left most lane and waiting for help of some sort. I started calling my friends one by one to update them of my status.
---
As we made made a turn to get out of our apartment complex, I took out my phone to make a call and thought - "Darn, the keys of the other car are still in my pocket - Now I will have to carry these through the weekend. Too late to return and put it back.". I called my friend and told him that we were on our way ahead of the scheduled time and that we will make it to the cabin well before nightfall. At this point my wife said "You know what, we forgot to take the beach chairs - now we won't have chairs to sit on the beach". Oh well, it is only the chairs, that's fine, we concluded.
---
In the rear view mirror, I saw 2 motorcycles with sirens and lights come to a stop behind my vehicle. "Ah, help has come" - I said with a sigh of relief. He gave me instructions to slowly turn the car back to the shoulder lane and as I followed, the vehicle slowly slid back into the shoulder lane, clearing the path for the traffic behind us. "The tow truck is on it's way" one of the cops said and they were on their way. "That was quick" I said to my mom and my wife alluding to the fact that the it had only been around 10 minutes since our car stopped to take my orders. "Is a big truck coming?" My son asked. "Yes, and it is going to take our car out of this road" I replied as I got out of the car and kept an eye out for an enormous ( and yellow most of the time) tow truck.
---
"Oh god, the traffic is horrible" my mom said as we were trying to merge into the highway filled with people and cars trying to "getaway from it all" during the weekend. As we were moving inch by inch, I called and synchronized the statuses of all of the attendees of our cabin trip - everyone was on their way except one. His son had some homework to do, so they will be starting late. "Oh no, they will be missing the early fun", I said in disappointment. "At least we will get some time to unwind since we reach there early", my wife added. Little did she know that it was all about to change in 20 minutes.
---
Approximately 20 minutes later, our car sputtered, hissed and then came to a stop as it was climbing a small slope under an overpass. That marks the end of this time warp and takes us to the beginning of the story.

Let me speed you through the rest of story as it is not interesting as the previous part had been (at least to me). The tow truck came (contrary to my assumption, it was not yellow - it was white and did I mention huge?), loaded my SUV onto it. My son and I were amazed at the sheer size and capability of this truck (I think it's a guy thing). We then rode back to an exit and and were unloaded onto a "safe zone" (I rode in the tow truck and my family, in another SUV that accompanied the tow truck). So there we were - in the parking lot of a shopping complex, waiting for the AAA technician and wondering whatever will happen to our greatly anticipated weekend getaway.

Now, you may be thinking - what does this title have to do with this story? You had all this happen and you call it a series of fortunate events? I know - I must be crazy, right? Let me explain - as it took me 3 weeks to figure it out - the prominence of the title is in the unfolding of events after this point.

The AAA technician finally arrived and he said he couldn't fix it that day, so he would have to take it to his shop. They would be closed for the weekend, so he could take a look at it only on Monday. I called my friend, who had not started for the trip yet, arranged for him to come and pick me up, transferred all our stuff on to his trunk, kept the keys of my SUV under the front carpet, locked it and left it there to be picked up by the AAA guy. We then drove back to my apartment, got the other car, came back to the "safe zone", picked up my family and were on our way to the cabin trip. It was like nothing happened. The weekend was great, we had a lot of fun and our family realized that a huge SUV does not augment to one's capability of having fun.

Now to the series of fortunate events - Cleaning out the other car enabled us to take the car for the trip. It helped that we left the beach chairs at home as it would not have fit into my other car or my friend's SUV. I locked my vehicle when I left it for pickup, so taking the other set of keys helped me to get back into my apartment and take the other car for the trip. If it were not for bumper to bumper traffic, some other car would have rammed into us when we suddenly slipped into "stationary" mode on the freeway. And finally, had my friend started early, we would have hailed a cab, gone back home and spent the weekend thinking -"Whatever  happened to our ever reliable SUV?". Besides, the traffic did not let us go very far from where we live, thus "making the trip back home and then heading out again idea" a realistic one.

To conclude, here is what I think - unfortunate events can happen at any time in your life, but if you have a series of fortunate events precede it and great friends to break your fall, the event may turn out to be - well, not that unfortunate.

Who appointed you the leader...

of this moral outfit?

Yes, I am talking to you - the CEO of big corp who was once an entrepreneur, took advantage of all the facilities a middle class society provided and now wants the middle class eliminated.

Yes, I am talking to you - the priest who talks about what the lord commanded us to do, works towards elimination of women's choice, vehemently supports the preservation of  'the sanctity of marriage' and then molests boys behind the walls of a closed confession box.

Yes, I am talking to you - the married couple who say they are too busy to have kids, claim that they are not mature enough to raise kids and then lecture others on how to properly raise their kids.

Yes, I am talking to you - the mullah who swears by the Koran, preach brotherly love and then brainwash kids to strap explosives around them and fight infidels so you can have your moral orgasm.

Yes - I am talking to you - the elected representative who puts on a 'friendly face' mask while you plead for votes, promise the people their unfettered dedication and love, and then go to bed with special interests and their lobbying prostitutes.

Yes, I am talking to you - the Hindu pujari who supposedly embodies negation of worldly pleasures, is a servant of the gods, but refuses to touch a devotee because he/she is from a lower caste.

Yes, I am talking to you - the political and financial pundit who is a know it all and is an 'enabler' of the common man, but try to push your own agenda through scare tactics and other worldly intimidation.

And finally, I am talking to you - the person in the mirror, who set out to lead a good life, provide for you and your family and do some good deeds along the way, but ended up selling up a piece of your soul to be a "team player" for humanity so that you can be a "normal" and "successful" specimen of the homosapien species.

You may be a leader of hypocrisy, but a leader of me - you are not. I know that there is next to no chance of this happening, but I am going to keep hoping that our paths do not cross.

End Rant.

Because...

• Its too late in the night for an early thinking stage.
• I have been battling a nasty headache for the past couple of hours that has been causing a pulsating ring in my ears.
• My son has been coughing all night for the past week which took away my routine sleep routinely.
• Procrastination has been big on the "Threats" section in my SWOT analysis.
• I want to post something that does justice to anybody spends their valuable time reading my blog.

There are other reasons too, but there you have it, my top 5 reasons for not posting anything substantial this time around. Let me also take this white space (which happens to be free and out in the "internets") to express gratitude to my ever curious and inquisitive reader base for putting me in this position of self improvement.

To quote my guv'nah Mr. Schwarzenegger - " I will be Back"

Micromanagement: An analysis

"Now he has 3000 people to micromanage".

That was the comment of my ex-colleague (and now friend) about the promotion of his boss as VP. "A very clever thought"- I said, and then we moved on to other more important topics.

I brought this thought back from the dark corners of my brain to the forefront for analysis while idling away at a later time. Do all of us have a right to complain about micromanagement? Don't we do it in our day to day lives? How many times have we said something and then quickly followed it up with - "Sorry, It's just that I am very particular about this stuff." Nice excuse, but isn't it camouflage for having things your way - aka micromanagement?

A couple of years ago, I was at my friend's son's birthday party and paying attention to what the party clown was doing (I know you meet a lot of clowns at parties, but this was the guy in the costume - he was paid to be one). He had handed out pens and papers for the kids there and was asking questions. The kids were supposed to solve some problems using intelligent and thought provoking answers. Pretty run of the mill, but then I noticed that there were some parents between the kids eagerly looking at what the kids were upto. It was then that I realized - they were instructing their own kids to do it the right way (translation - their way) so that they could solve the problem faster. Isn't that micromanagement? Do these parents have a right to complain when their bosses instruct them to do something the right way (again - their way) so that the project can be done quicker?

In my professional life, I have moved from individually contributing positions to leadership positions and back, and I have come to know that work delegation is an art - you have to precisely know what, when, how much and to whom the delegation needs to be done. On one occasion, when my (previous) boss came back from vacation in the midst of a mission critical project I said to him - "I am sure the project delivery status might have bugged you while you lay on the beach." He shook his head and replied - "No, I made the decision to take a vacation knowing that the team could be trusted with their skills and that all of you don't need me looking over your shoulder to get work done.".

So post-mortemically speaking(I know, it's not a word, but I trust you readers with analysis and word deduction skills) , a person tends to micromanage a team/person when he/she

@ thinks they are inept in getting a task done

@ does not trust that they can come up with the best solution without external help

@ thinks they are not motivated enough to get the task done without another pair of eyes overlooking their shoulder

@ has an obsessive compulsive urge to get the task status every few minutes.

So look back at stuff that you have micromanaged (or are doing right now) and check up on the need for it. How frequently do you demand a status update from your team? Do you have to check up on your kids every so often? Do you have to call your spouse every now and then and remind them of their tasks (or ask them when are they going to do it)? Do you have to force your parents to do stuff in the most technologically advanced way because you think that takes the shortest time?

But then...

Maybe your team is waiting to get important stuff completed before they send you a status update. Maybe the kids need to toy with their imagination and beliefs and it takes multiple efforts to learn and get things right. Maybe your spouse needs a break form all the reminders and instructions so that they can clear their mind for all their ToDos. Maybe your parents don't use the internet for paying bills or stand in long lines instead of using the self checkout line, but that is their comfort zone and and that is their assurance that the task will get done.

The next time you complain of being micromanaged, look it up in your life - This time you may be the vanquished, but have you ever been the perpetrator?

What will you do with your platform?

A couple of weekends ago, I was in a cabin at south lake tahoe with my friends. On one of those colorful evenings, we all sat down around the snooker table, and started our usual "song fest" - everyone pitching in with their vocal chords and one of our friends on the Tabla. We were having loads of fun for a long time, but unfortunately, the gathering had to end on a sour note (literally!)

Why, you ask? No, it was neither public drunkenness nor egoistic conflicts that caused it, but the mere wish of the tabla player to hear one of his favorite songs. The rest of the crowd had heard enough of that song, and they did not want a piece of it anymore. No, it never got to a point where an argument broke out or shouting was heard, but the session quickly ended and the tabla went under wraps. Now, I always tilt in the favor of a talented artist, so I am going to side with the tabla player. I know it is hard to please an audience, but once a person has established talent, isn't it fair game for that person to expect some respect from his/her audience?

*********************

Arundhati Roy, after winning a booker prize in 1997 and numerous praises, revealed what she truly liked and thought about the world and was labelled an "Activist Writer" and pushed out from mainstream audiences. Oprah Winfrey, a television powerhouse, lost some of her audience after she came out with her support for Barack Obama, the current US president. Meg Ryan, after becoming America's sweetheart, tried to break free from the romantic lead stereotype and lost most of her audience and ultimately the "sweetheart" title. My friend playing the tabla, tried to express his opinions and quickly went out of favor for some of his listeners.

Without beating around the bush, let me ask the question that I am driving at- If you are given a platform where the masses lend you a piece of their five senses, would you use it to leverage more of it or would you use it to speak your mind? Of course, I would rather be given a platform than be a commoner lending an eye/ear to someone, but would I be able to fight the dilemma that comes with it?

What are you doing with the platform that you have been handed in life? Be it the platform of a parent, a boss, a friend or a soulmate. Obviously, I am not talking about the case where everyone agrees with you and all your audience is on the same aisle as you in the great ideology divide. I am talking about less than best case scenarios. Do you strive to be true to yourself or do you strive to make the platform bigger by pleasing the audience and thereby attracting more of them?

One of the readers of my blog told me - "If you write more about India and topics related to Indians, I am sure there will be more subscribers and readers to your post." Of course, you are intelligent enough to guess my reply - I write about stuff that I care about and what I feel is right. (Let us put aside for a moment, the fact that my audience is nowhere near a critical mass to shake things up.) Since advise is among one of the few things that are still free, let me dole out some.

Impart "values" and "morals" from the platform of a parent instead of the usual "Great Job" rhetoric. From the platform of a boss, look up, not down to people who report to you (Remember, some of them did have a choice but still stuck with you). Accept your loved one as a whole (the good with the bad) when you are handed the platform of a soul mate. Most importantly, be true to yourself and use the leverage to promote goodness in this truly amazing world of ours.

With that, I mark the end of my short and sweet Avatar as a preacher. Hopefully, I made you think. As for the Tabla player, we are all jamming this weekend at his place - I am looking forward to his reaction when the spotlight beam shines on his face.

Games parents play

"Dad, can you change my name when I am a little older?" As I took my eyes off the road and looked at the rear view mirror, I could see my son's eyes squint a little in an effort to hide his embarrassment. He was sitting in the rear seat and he shrugged soon after he finished up his question. We had named our son Jacob (after my dad) and it was an anglicized name - I have heard of other Indian kids complain about their names sounding too Indian and hard to pronounce, but Jacob - no, that is not a name to complain about. I laid my eyes on the road again for a bit and then turned back and asked - "Why do you want to change your name, Jacob?". "I don't know", came the reply - " just because."

Soon, I was at a traffic light that turned red - so I stepped on the brake, turned around and continued my conversation. "There must be some reason- If it is a valid one, we can think of changing your name", I said. I knew in my heart that it was a lie, but a dad's gotta do what he has to do to get his son spill the beans on what is really going on.

"Well, a kid in my class calls me Jacobi to make it sound like I am a small kid". I could sense the sadness in his voice. "And I don't want to be a small kid". "Hmm.." I thought to myself - "If what I said earlier were true, this would be a good reason to change his name - since his feelings got hurt."

"Well Jacob, you have to tell him that it Jacobi is not your name and that you don't like being called that name."

"I told him that - like two hundred times; but he said he doesn't care and calls me Jacobi anyway." At that point I knew that he had really tried hard to resolve the situation - because two hundred is his largest number - anything unimaginably huge is two hundred for him.

"Oh..OK", I mumbled, which was my place holder response in lieu of a clear answer or resolution.

I had to turn my attention to the road again as the car behind me started honking. By the way, is it just me or does the red light always change to green when you really want it to stay red for a bit longer? Sorry, back to the point of discussion.

I started thinking about how this muddy situation could be cleared. "What is the name of the that kid?" I asked. "Mark (name changed)" came the reply.

I gave it more thought. "Ok, heres what you do Jacob - Call him markee and say that he looks like a small kid and sounds like one too. If he gets angry, let him know that you will stop once he stops calling you Jacobi and that's how the deal works. Got it?"

"YES! - that is a good idea!" I could see the appreciation and happiness that glittered in his eyes. He was happy that his dad had helped him solve a problem that was nagging him for a couple of days. After all, it was only the third day of school this year.

And then I thought some more. "What if Mark does not get annoyed? What if Mark's dad counters this with another strategy? This is getting interesting. I don't even know Mark's dad, but I am eagerly awaiting his next move. Wow, this is like playing a strategy game without spending the money to buy it. What if this is wrong? Shouldn't I be telling him to lay low and be diplomatic whenever he can? Wait, the real world is not going to be soft and politically correct and diplomatic all the time, so this could be an early training package for him - on how real life is going to be. Besides, he tried the diplomatic route already."

That night, he gave me the privilege of reading him a book. Usually that spot was reserved for my wife. I was elated that he had already found a friend in me. "Yes, this is a team game", I thought to myself. "Bring it on; Mark's dad! Put your game face on! May the parent with the best wits win."

The inevitable break up

Yes, it had to happen. She is too much in demand to be tied to one person. Plus, I could not hold on to her for ever. So goodbye, dear hiatus; looking forward to having more flings with you in the near future.

(Refer to my previous post for more hints on what I am talking about.)

To all of you whom I forgot during my getaway - my most sincere apologies. It is not that I forgot about you, but the fun I had did indeed fill up my brain space (and I am not known for having a big brain - ask my wife!).

So thanks to all of you who kept checking in and inquiring about more posts through visits or emails - I am humbled and indebted to you because you spend some of your valuable time checking up on what I am up to. I am finally back to the daily grind and its antidotes(especially this one).

Good to see you, real life! I can't say I missed you, but I sure can say that I look forward to your companionship.

My new girlfriend!

It was last Thursday night when I met her. She had been in my mind for months, and I was hoping I could get to meet her pretty soon. After months of dreaming, it was finally time. Here I was, looking right into her eyes.

"Hi, nice to meet you - was so looking forward to it" - I blabbered. She giggled and the happiness on her face was evident. "Hi, I am Hiatus and am glad that we finally met. I hope we can spend some quality time together for the next 3 weeks".

Yes, my friends, I am taking a much needed break from my day to day routine and going into hiatus for a while. I am hoping I get to spend some real quality time with her and don't get time to post here. (No disrespect to followers of this blog intended whatsoever!)

So there you go - I am on vacation visiting friends and family and will be unavailable in this space for a while. Meanwhile, all of you have fun!

What could be the story behind..?

He was leaning against the sign post of a bus stop. Clearly, today was not a cheerful day for him. As I drove past, I noticed that he almost collapsed onto the small seat in the bus stop. Shortly thereafter, he broke down in tears and all I could see in my rear view mirror was the image of a man wiping his tears, trying to prevent an outburst of emotions. Though my car had left the scene, my brain was hooked on it. He must be in his 30s, I thought to myself; so what could be the cause of his sadness? Did he lose his job? Was he hitting the now cliched "mid life crisis"? Did he just hear some devastating news?  

Careful! A red light..I must stop thinking about strangers and their problems and concentrate on the road.

That's me - a big sucker for flashbacks. I am always interested in moments that are out of the ordinary, since they usually have an equally interesting story that culminated the moment just preceding this one. What could be the series of events that led to this? Does it have to do with how the person reacted in that situation? Or does it have to do with society and its practises? Or as many who believe in a superpower say - is it all a part of a giant play that is orchestrated

with immense precision, skill and forethought?

At the next traffic light, I saw a bunch of boxes scattered on the road.  They were small wooden boxes and their contents (which was some kind of vegetable - as you can figure out I am a carnivore, hence the lack of skill in identifying a lesser known vegetable)  had spilled out in all directions on the road. I wondered why people were not paying attention to this - perhaps they were in their own little wooden boxes trying to get through their daily grind. But my mind wandered again - Was it an accident? Did somebody knock off these boxes when their vehicle hit a bump? Or did someone forget to tie down these boxes carefully? No matter what the situation was - how did bystanders and passers by react? Were they helpful?Or did they just ignore it? The undoing of these small wooden boxes is no small matter, it requires deep afterthought and analysis. (At least, I thought so!)

This obsession for flashbacks has ruined many a good movie for me. When friends mention a scene in the movie that is particularly good, my rebuttal goes somewhat like this - "Well, he was raised in a rich family and had a good education - So I don't think the portrayal of his reaction was accurate". I would have constructed his whole life for him based on the facts mentioned in the movie - and eventually conclude that the flashback does not lead to this particular scene. I also find faults with situations that are the reverse - the flashback shown in the movie conveniently ignores some facts of the present. Well, my dear director friend - you cannot deceive me - I have identified the traits that must go in the flashback, and it should be depicted as I perceived it to be!  

I must really seek some professional help.

I parked my car at work, headed up to our floor and slowly walked to my section. The scene I saw  stopped me on my tracks and got me in the ever wondering flashback mode - a messy laptop docking station, a cup that was  half full with old coffee and an empty cube- what could be the story behind..Wait, that is my cube - and I am late for work. I better get on my tasks or else someone else could be wondering about this scene  - " A teared up version of me walking down the stairs with a pink slip in hand". 

No, I definitely would not want that. So long, wandering mind. Now go rest in peace.

Stranger(?) on a Train

The doors on the train closed right after I boarded. I guess all the running paid off! The train conductor looked at me and said - "You barely made it!". I was so breathless that I couldnt gather enough air to say "I know". So  I managed to nod my head to agree with him that he was right.

It was the summer of 1999. I had landed in the US of A a couple of months earlier and was slowly learning the ways of the land. I had learnt that a sale is not really a sale, that "how are you doing" is a form of salutation rather than a genuine interst in my health and well being and that holding hands with male friends was well - gay.

I  sat on the first empty seat I could find to catch up on all the oxygen that I had spent running. A couple of minutes later, my "blackout" was almost over and my breathing returned to normal. My mind instructed me to get to my daily routine - which was to people watch; but my brain begged to differ and was recommending me to take a nap. The party I attended the previous night had run into the wee hours of the morning and apparently, had taken a toll on me.

********************************

I was crossing the frontiers of sleep territory when I noticed a man sitting opposite to me. He looked Indian (not American Indian - an Indian from India. Sometimes I think we Indians have to makeup a lot for Columbus' mistake). He might have been in his mid thirties, definitely a techie in the valley and had a warm smile on his face. "That was a close call", he said, "you could have missed the train". I remembered my manager saying - "It is totally normal for strangers to start conversations in this country; so don't shy away from it". Well, here was my chance. "Yeah", I responded, "I am glad I was not wearing the shoes I got on sale - they would have made me run slower!".  He made a sincere effort to laugh so I would not realize how bad myjoke was. After exchanging  pleasentries, we started discussing about careeers, economy, the work culture and life in general. He said that he had been in the valley for 10 years. I was eager to crosscheck with  my "things that had to be accomplished by a software engineer in 10 years" checklist and see how well this gentleman had scored. 

"So are you a citizen now?" I asked.

"No, I never planned to stay this long here - who knows, if I stay here longer, I might be one"

"Oh, ok. Since you have been in the software field for so long, you must be a director or a manger right?"

"No, I just lead a team of engineers to build products. I provide guidance and wisdon from experience, I would say."

Hmm. So far, he's not scoring great in my checklist of "elements required for success".

Sensing that I was not impressed by his  answers, he went to to say "I do have a great team though - I guess it is your priorities that chose your career for you. My prioirty is to have a great working environment and be around smart  and talented people and to learn from them".

Nice Excuse for you lack of skills, I thought to myself. Without skipping a beat, I jumped on to my next bullet item - "So did you buy a house?"

He smiled and mildly and nodded his head to mean "No". I was sure what he was thinking  was - "This kid has planned out his entire life and has jotted down his criteria for success. I am sure the success stories of Indian software engineers making it big in the valley has got to his head. He needs to take it easy and enjoy life" - or atleast thats what his expression conveyed.

"Well, I may not be a director and may not own a house - but instead of all those board meetings and offshore calls, I get to spend time with my family and have fun with them. We can afford to go to all the fun places and have more play time with the money which would otherwise go into the mortgage. I choose to spend money and time when I am in good health, when my kids are young and when we can all have fun as a family. What will I do with all the time and money when I age and my kids no longer want to be with their parents?"

"You have a point there" I said. "Give it a little more thought", he responded and continued - "This is my stop - see you around sometime - By the way, my name is Sunil; nice meeting you, buddy".

"Oh, what a coincidence, my name is Sunil too", I replied with a surprised look on my face. I was expecting the same from him, but he remained calm and whispered - "I know -  I AM YOU, just ten years from now. Why don't you stop planning and start living? Trust me, you will have a lot of fun."

********************************

I woke up to a pat on my back - "wake up man,  it's our station! You bachelors party too hard, I tell you - You have been sleeping all the way!". It was my colleague from work who had boarded the train a couple of stations after mine. We got out of the train and walked towards the shuttle. Suddenly, I got the message from my dream. I smiled, took my "success" checklist, shredded it to pieces and threw it in the next trash can I could find. 

It is 2009 and now, I hope one of these days I will meet a man in his mid forties who will tell me how my next ten years would be like.

Take up smoking! And help children!

Yes, you read the title right.  Recently the US federal government raised the tax on cigarettes by $0.62.  The proceeds would go to funding childrens health care...so improving the health of one by harming the other? Read more here.There could be a lot of aruguments back and forth on why this is good or bad..but my question is - arent we betting those kid's health against someone's poor decision?

This tactic of tapping taxes from consumption of goods that breed "moral low ground" has been around for ages. It has been lovingly called the "sin tax". Link to history of it here. 

So is it ok to sin as long as you pay a tax on it? (pun intended). Plus, who has the moral authority to call out sins of various human beings?  Since smoking has been demonized (for all the right reasons) in modern society, it is easy to get away by raising taxes on some tobacco rolled up in a paper with a filter attached to it. The same may not apply to other "sins" that are not as infamous. It has been proven that sin taxes do work. Take a look at the "Economics of Sin Taxes". Under the guise of "encouraging those bad people to give up their bad habits", we as a society stand to gain from it's proceeds, which can then be applied to the betterment of all - especially the "good" people.

To apply an analogy, we are like the employees of a store that sits across the local whorehouse - 

as long as we dont visit the prostitutes and the prostitutes keep having customers, we ccan keep our morality and eat it too.

P.S - In interest of full disclosure, let me mention for the record that I am not a smoker and that I have never taken up smoking as a habit in my life. So if you were thinking - "he must be smoker; hence the anger" - ha!

The merryman cometh

Happiness has the mind of a maverick. Sometimes it plays hard to get, sometimes it plays hide and seek, and sometimes it is elusive. But when we find it, we try to hold on to it so tight that it escapes at the slightest chance it gets.

Rather than holding tight on to it, I usually just say hi and hello and keep a small distance so as not to break any private space that it deserves. Consider it as a motive to keep it a arms length to be called upon anytime. I don't give it a shape either (like if I do this, I will be happy), I just recognize it when I see it. I classify my happiness as the merryman, who meets me at various nooks and corners of my life and always leaves me wanting for more.

Some people like their merryman to be a short distance runner - achieving great happiness that has a short running time. This is usually not recommended as the means are often harmaful or borderline criminal. (Smoking weed, running ponzi schemes or indulging in blind ideology). Others like their merryman to be a marathon runner, slowly but surely gathering pace and lasting for a long period of time. (Hardwork, corporate ladder climbing, building up a profitable business). The merryman usually has long term relationships with them as well, but they usually don't make it into the celebrity list or the most famous person's list.

I try to meet happiness everyday - it may be in the slightest of event like a happy child or in a large dose like spending quality time with the ones you love most. At the end of the day if I think I have not achieved anything - I think - this is now, I am here and I am ready to take on another new day of my life! Ah, there it is - the happiness in sheer optimism! The merryman does take holidays though - during times when loved ones are lost and during times when serious health issues surface. I imagine him to be like a postman - drops in everyday (except on holidays as I mentioned before), drops envelopes big and small, and leaves me to figure out the value of each piece of mail my life has to offer.

So build yourself a merryman and try to meet him everyday. He has unpredictable timing, so keep on the lookout and if you think you have not met him today, think again - you might have missed him in the crowd of your other emotions - its just that he did not wear the bright red uniform today that usually gets him noticed.

When did I meet my merryman today, you ask? Just about a few minutes back when I was almost done with this post that I have been thinking of posting for couple of days now. How does he look? Well, I say he dresses up differently for everyone, so I am not going to spoil the surprise for you! You will have to see for yourself.

Procrastination: Cause and Effect

Friday, 7:30 pm - "Oh I have to stick the new registration tags on the motorcycle - will do it on the weekend"

Saturday 5:30 pm - "Hmm, I have to stick the registration tag, but I am late for my volleyball
game, maybe tomorrow"

Sunday 11:30 pm - "Oh forgot about the sticker again, too late now, will do it tomorrow"

Tuesday 9:15 am - "Oh Sh*#! Where is my motorcycle? Was it stolen? Or did somebody tow it? Better call the apartment office"

Well, turns out the apartment security had placed a notice under the license plate of my motorcycle about the expired registration tag. A week later, since no one had called, they had it towed. I tried to show my angry face at the apartment manager - but she showed a photo of the notice stuck to my motorcycle (I hate those smart phones!), so I had to back away from shifting the guilt (or the responsibility) onto someone else's shoulder. I called the towing company - their response justified every inch of prejudice I had about them - they are the best legally run mafia operation in these United States of America. Well, if you are wondering about the other ones, I will name a few - U-Haul, Parking Enforcement and the IRS. Getting back to topic, after the technical terms mambo jumbo, I deduced that if I got the motorcycle out of their storage facility (which is even worse than the footage of Iraq I have seen on TV) by the next evening, I need to pay only (emphasis on the only) a total of $260.

Now, I know on the list of bad effects caused by procrastination, loss of wealth comes only after loss of health and loss of family relations. But in the absence of the other two, I felt emotionally burdened by this impending financial loss. In the current economical climate, this is the last thing I could afford. After doing some quick calculations in my head, I figured out the other costs I could cut to make up for this towing company's moment of nirvana.

Slowly, the other repercussions dawned on me. How do I break this to my wife? How do I blame politicians for procrastinating the fixing of a health care crisis and economical crisis? Closer to home, how do I reason with my son for not cleaning up his toys because he had other things to do? Some wise man said - "Change the man in the mirror first before asking the world to change". Now, I am sure he was just postponing his occasional social visit, but he does have a point. Then again, another wise man said - "Hard work pays over time, but laziness pays now". I will leave it to you to figure out who was the wiser one. Or you can do it later.

A battery jump start from AAA and a ride from my wife later, I was lighter on accounts of my bank balance and self righteousness. In the near future, I may think twice before blaming my son, wife, colleagues and policymakers when they say - "I will do it, but now is not the time".

Since this experience has become an edifice of my procrastination aftereffect, you may think I have become better in getting stuff done by now. But consider this - I have been putting this post up for a week now. Thankfully, blogger.com does not tow unclaimed draft posts!

Days of our lives

Last weekend, my friends and I had a get together at my place. For the first few hours, our conversations kept going and we were having a lot of fun. The next day, after the hangover set in the horizon, I wondered - we were not talking about sports or girls or politics, but still the conversations were very interesting and engaging - how come?. Then it struck me - we had been talking about how we went about our daily lives. Dropping kids to school, making calls to the insurance companies, taking our cars for service et al. Also of note - none of us were leading particularly interesting lives. All of us called our lives mechanical, hated the daily grind and were of the opinion that life nowadays has become too robotic.

But is it really that mundane? If it were, how come ramblings about it are so interesting? How come it evokes so much laughter and excitement? Yeah, that's my point. Our lives are are not even close to mundane. By we, I mean the middle class, the working fabric of nations everywhere and people who by and large make up the biggest pie of the term "populace". We don't solve rocket science problems, do not hold bilateral discussion between countries or don't enact a scene that can get an Oscar nomination. Yet, for us, no day is like the previous, and what is to come is totally different from what was.

Can you imagine a favorite TV show or a movie that was not about ordinary folks? What would TV shows like Friends or Seinfeld look like if all of the characters were super rich? What would they talk about - How they lost money in the stock market? Come on, give me a break! The lives of ordinary people, in contrast, have lot more spice and flavor churned from their daily struggles to fix things and their effort to keep the wheels turning - kids education, insurance compliance, getting dates, figuring out when to get engaged (or get married) to their sweetheart etc. It's not that the wealthy don't have to do this, but they don't have to tie these to any successfully goal completions - like a bonus, a promotion or a tax refund.

Case in point - Before we call our lives too ordinary, robotic and mundane, let us reflect on it and recognize it for what it really is. It is the fuel that keeps us on the run, the tunnel that we keep building and the journey we keep on planning. In retrospect, we will find out that it was anything but boring - kind of like how we cherish our childhood and college days after we are done with those. So let us enjoy the day as it happens, take in the view as we drive through the journey, pause, and take time to smell the roses.

Flashbacks can never take you to the real thing, so enjoy the moment while you are in it and remember not to rush through the "Daily Grind". Just make sure you are armed with the best grinder available.

P.S. If you are a very rich person reading this, discard all of what you have read and contact me ASAP - I have a really good idea on how to start a great company with your money.

Shameless Self Promotion - Do we have a choice?

Scene 1: The camera zooms into my living room. Scrambled toys, a swing and an open shelf greets the viewer. Zoom out, pan and scan the hall. More scattered toys, and a a pair of kids shoes. The viewer is now sure that there are at least a couple of kids in this living space. Ah, finally, there is a shot of a room with some light. Wait, is that me sitting in front of my computer? Yes, it's me alright. Zoom in to the computer display - The words that are displayed in the computer monitor are clear now. It reads - "2008 Performance Objectives, Goals and Results".

There is a reason for the screenplay-style writing above. As I was writing the performance review for the past year, that's exactly what it felt like - a screenplay. I was trying to write the whole story of what happened at my job over the past year so I could prove to my manager that I am a keeper. So I penned it with care - my bread winning capability depended on this not being a tragedy, musical or a comedy. The story line needed to be inspiring, touching and "feel good" at the same time. Like "SlumDog Millionaire" - the target audience (in this case my manager) should feel that I have worked hard in difficult conditions and that I deserve more, and more often.

Now the mind wanderer that I am, I started thinking. Can we get by without marketing ourselves these days? Marketing oneself aggressively for the right job is a given, but what about other venues? On digging that thought-mine deeper, I realized that we end up doing it more often than not.

For a good insurance premium, we tout our sans accident driving record, years of driving experience and clean driving habits. For a good life insurance policy, we even praise our genetics - "no heart attacks on my mom's or dad's side - Alzheimer's maybe, but that was my uncle - Moreover, I don't keep touch with him that much anyway". When your kids complain that you never get them this or that or that you never take them out, your inner salesperson wakes up from deep slumber and fires back - "What about the days we went out to the park and I got you Cheetos and all that popcorn? Remember when I took you the cinema and you cried for Ice Cream? I even bought you two. Remember?" When your significant other notices that you are not romantic as you used to be, you immediately put on your mental suit and tie and the sales pitch starts - "Oh so the diamond means nothing to you now? What about our trip to Hawaii? And the flowers I bought for our anniversary- Your appreciation did not even last much as the roses did, Honey!" Bravo , you finely tuned selling machines, Bravo!

In the era of increasing "Me First" mentality, people who take notice of good actions, intentions and hard work are few and far between. If anyone had doubts about Darwin's theory of "Survival of the Fittest", now is the time to look around and see proof of it. Success is no longer measured in goodwill, but on how much you can afford to donate at GoodWill (the store). The world is increasingly being transformed into a multitude of ladders and each one of us have multiple ones to climb - in pursuit of prized possessions, stable relationships and towering finances. The yardsticks used for measuring a country's well being are the Dow and Nasdaq, not the quality of life being lived by its people.

So the world leaves us with no choice but to market ourselves as good worker bees, good parents, great lovers and loving sons and daughters. However, I don't remember the last time I had to market my ability to be a good human being; a person whose policy is "Live and let Live". I guess that would be up to the orphans, the homeless and all the charity institutions that serve the greater good. They have to pitch to me, the greedy and self indulgent common man, as to why they are in dire need of money I have saved to help me climb the selfish ladders of life. Benevolence has never been a great asset to market anyway.

In the interest of full disclosure, I have to say that when it came to this blog, I did have a choice in not indulging in shameless self promotion. I went along with it anyway and judging by the traffic to my site, it looks like I would have to fire the salesperson for lack of skill and poise. I know what you are thinking - let me dismiss that thought right away. No, it does not have anything to do with the quality of posts. "Remember that time when you read the awesome post and said it was good? Remember?"

The Penn is mightier than the sword

No, the title does not have a typo - Read on.
It is a little too late to discuss this year's Oscars, but this year's event was not lackluster and there were some moments that deserve special mention. Usually I am not into Oscars, but this year, I was particularly interested since Slumdog Millionaire had attracted so much hype. For me the Oscars stood out for 2 reasons - The "Mozart from Madras" (as he is sometimes known) A. R Rahman's 2 Oscars and Sean Penn's acceptance speech.

Both men have immense talent riding on their shoulders, but they proved that their souls were oscar worthy too. They decided to use the opportunity of a center stage spotlight to voice their opinions - however unpopular they may be (Rahman's not so much). Sean Penn started off with "You commie homo-loving sons of guns" and I went "Yes!". He has been constantly criticized and ridiculed in public (and in the industry) for his support of equal rights - may it be among different classes (hence the name commie; for communist) and among people with diffrerent sexual orientations (hence the name homo loving). He could have easily chosen to be non political and walked away in the glory that the Academy bestowed upon him. But in my opinion, he did the right thing - used his opportunity to voice an opinion about a cause much bigger than himself. A.R.Rahman's speech was also directed at people who hate. "All my life I had a choice between love and hate; I chose love and I am here" - he said, and walked away to the music of "Jai Ho". That was magical. He used Hindi and Tamil in his speeches and proved that being humble never goes out of style.

It is a tough act to stand up for one's beliefs and opinions when you are pacing yourself up the popularity ladder. Your career and reputation is at risk and you may not know whom you end up offending. Take the example of Arundhati Roy, who, after winning the Booker prize in 1997 started voicing her opinions about War, poverty and capitalism thereby quickly falling out of global popularity charts.

Early on in my career, I did fake agreement with my manager's viewpoints and opinions since I did not want to lose a step in my career ladder. As my beliefs grew stronger, I realized that acting on principle may cost you dearly, but buys you a sense of righteousness and peace of mind which are never on sale at Walmart(or any other store). I do my best these days to voice my opinion to any audience I get (I rarely get any - makes it easier); and sure enough, I have rubbed some of my friends the wrong way.

On the other end of the spectrum, Governer of Louisiana, Bobby Jindal used his opportunity in the spotlight to voice his concerns on Obama's stimulus package. He too, quickly fell out of the popularity charts - but not for standing up for his beliefs. He showed us that just being a young and dynamic politician and being born to immigrants is not always president material. Being a computer programmer, I deal with logic all the time so there were a couple of places where I felt the logic was not adding up. Mainly, he was speaking up against government while holding publicly elected office. Oh, the irony! Also, in his speech he said that when he was young, his dad told him - "Bobby, you can do anything". Wasn't his name good old "Piyush" then? ( I know, I am being silly here , but hey, I always voice my opinion - remember?)

Remember, Stay true to what you believe - they are a result of what you have gone through in life. And when the world gives you a stage, grab it by the horns and make it yours instead of staging the world on it!

Let your little worries prevail...

This morning as I was sipping on my morning tea and browsing through my day-opener websites, the mental worry train started its journey. Why are my stocks dwindling? Why is the economy still plummeting? Why is my to do list getting longer? Why is life so hectic?

My wife then reminded me that we had an appointment with the doctor for our little girl. She had been getting some blue lumps on her body that kept appearing and disappearing - so we figured we should be getting some professional advice rather than just staring at those lumps and being intrigued.

While at the doctor's office, it was the doctor's expression that threw me off my emotional feet. He look puzzled and a little shaken. He then stepped outside the room to consult his colleague. His colleague came in after a while, took a look and said - "we are going to have a talk outside and will let you know what we think." As they were conferring with each other, my wife and I traded nervous looks. The doctor came back in and said - "We are going to order some blood tests, since we don't really know what it is." Now that the doctor did not have any answers, where do we go to find out? "Oh, it's going to be wait and watch game"; I thought - and it is going to be emotionally draining.

At the lab, they tried to find her vein, but in vain. With my wife waiting outside the room, I was forced to watch them pierce the needle into our three month old's arm and then search for a vein. It was like my heart being slowly cut with a butter knife. I was terribly worried, but helpless at the same time, so I stood my ground. The lab then referred us to another lab where they specialized in taking blood samples from infants. What? Couldn't you have told this before? Why does my baby have to be a statistic in your trial and error method? Those were questions in my head that never came out, given the circumstances that I was in. At the next lab, the technician went to get the blood sampling kit while I sat on a chair, holding my daughter tight and in position for the procedure. "Hey there Delilah" by the plain white T's was playing in the background, acting as a catalyst to break up my mental courage. This technician did a much better job, but he had to a drain a lot of blood for all the tests prescribed by the doctor. As the syringe came off, blood poured out into my daughter's arm, my fingers and onto my shirt. It was at that time that my tear ducts reacted to what I had been feeling all along; and a man-tear fell out my left cheek. Under different circumstances, my wife would have said - "Oh, I thought you never teared up". But today was different, I just could not handle it - my daughter was crying at the top of her voice, looking straight into my eyes and probably puzzled why I let this happen to her and I was worried what might come out of these blood tests.

We drove back and there was not a word spoken between us - I am sure our minds were still parsing through the Google results we had seen earlier - cancer forums, tumor forums and links to various types of child cancer. Around dinner time, the doctor called and said - "I got the first round of results and everything looks normal; I am so glad that it is not Leukemia that I had suspected." We had mixed emotions, but I think we felt lighter in our hearts.

The battle is only half won - we are still waiting for the second part of her blood results.

What does this teach me you ask? Well, I am happy with the small worries that I have in life and consider those a blessing now. The bigger ones, the ones that shake up my fundamental well being - I could do away with. So let your little worries prevail, since those are the thorns that support the sweet smelling, beautiful rose of a peaceful, happy and a healthy life.

Busi(m)ess Travel

"Please check with your significant others whether these dates are good for travel - or if they like the idea of you traveling". This was how the whole idea of our team, traveling to our headquarters, was born. To be frank, no one in our team was super excited about a trip to the mother ship. But all of us knew that importance of face value, especially in this economy when you want your bosses to connect with you personally so they think twice in case they are pressured into "pruning" their team.

A couple of "oh my god, what are we gonna do"s from my wife and and a few weeks later, the trip was finalized. I decided to break the unpleasant news to my son to which he went - "Yaay, I can sleep with mom for 3 nights". Whoa! Certainly did not expect that coming from a 5 year old. The outbound flight was at daybreak, which meant I had to wake up at approximately the time I used to go to bed when I was a bachelor. The night before my departure, I hit the bed a couple of hours after midnight and fresh from a diaper change routine for my newborn.

The alarm beeped even before I could complete the dream I was having. "Give me a break, So soon?" I slowly got out of bed, thinking what would have happened at the end of the dream - Do I become the CEO? or do they fire me too? A hot shower followed and I think I spotted some bees buzzing around my head when I got out of it.

Now, when you are flying from point A to point B, there is huge role playing involved. The roles you will be playing are (in respective order)
1. Potential Terrorist: You are one until proven innocent. First they look at you with their eyebrows curled trying to take a crack at your personality. Then comes the stripping down of footwear, jacket, belts, watches, loose change and anything that you weren't born with. Finally, when you are proved safe, you think to yourself; well it's for our safety so it's ok! But then the afterthought follows - are they really weeding out the bad elements or is this the new avatar of bondage?

2. Dirt of Society: Ok, now you have adorned all the stuff that you submitted for scanning and you are waiting for your boarding call. When the moment finally arrives, you are classified by what you paid, how frequently you fly and your travel companions. I am talking about boarding priorities - First Class, super preferred members, elite members, economy plus, families and then groups identified by row numbers. Lucky me, I was group 5 which basically meant that after I get in I would be closing the airplane door behind me. I have to say that after waiting around for that long and boarding last, I did feel that I was unimportant to society and that I did have to work up my way into the class ladder.

3.Socialist: Once you are in the plane, you have to have the mentality of a socialist. There are limited resources and it has to be shared among all travelers. Everybody has to adjust, and wait calmly for their pay in peanuts. If you are lucky, the authorities(stewardesses in this case) will be good to you and may even reward you with a blanket or an extra drink. The entertainment provided (safety video) is sub par and everything is controlled by the government(airline authorities).

The best thing about a business trip is that you get to stay in great hotels that you may not otherwise book when you are on a personal trip. As I rolled my carry on to the hotel lobby, I was dreaming about plush pillows, a well made king size bed and a full night of sleep uninterrupted by a newborn's crying and the subsequent diaper change routine. As I walked up, the receptionist put on a wide smile and sure enough, he greeted me with this question - "Sir, are you a Starwoods preferred member?". Oh no, here we go again!

The next 3 days of my trip can be summarized quickly - exchange of pleasantries, day long meetings, an ice storm, bumping my rental car into my manager's car and a forced dinner at my wife's relative's place. On the bright side, I did enjoy a couple of good dinner outings with my team. (Especially the $2.75 pint night at the local beer joint!)

Another flight, another series of role plays and I found myself back at my home airport a couple hours after midnight. It was a long ride in the shuttle to the Long Term parking lot, so I used it constructively to reflect on the trip. We were able to connect as a team and impress our commanders at base camp. Not too bad! I snuck back into bed after a quick shower. The bed did not have a lot of space for me and plush pillows were nowhere to be seen, but it felt great to immerse into the warmth of it and to be sleeping with family again.

Next morning, I woke up looking at the smiling face of my son. He hugged me and said "I woke up at night and you were there! I am happy now!". Now, that's something you will not get at a Sheraton. No, not even if you are a Starwoods preferred member.

Life Happens...

It was a chilly August night in the millennium that gave us the y2k scare. The weekend had just rolled in. Like clockwork, a bunch of my friends and I opened bottles of rum and coke, mixed them in varying proportions and sipped them down our throats. As the night grew older, sips turned into gulps and our subject matters morphed into worldly affairs, reason of our existence and the meaning of life.

Without further ado, let me cut into the scene of interest. A close friend of mine and I had gotten into a discussion (by this time it was more like an argument) about why software engineers like us chose to immigrate to another country. "Its the technology and the exposure", said my friend to which I asked "What exposure?". Many of our buddies had withered away from our crowd by this time and our noise echoed off my not so sound proof apartment walls.

Here's the some of the conversation as I remember it.
"Exposure to technology and a different culture!"
"BS. It's just the currency exchange rate of 43 - Everyone is here to make money, that's it; and nothing else"
"So does that mean once you make enough money or the exchange rate goes down, you will be back in India?"
"No doubt about that. I am here just for 5 years, buddy. After that, I am off no matter what making my own destiny!"

If you haven't figured out yet, I am the one in the scene with the bold decision making and "my life is already planned out" attitude. After that, the discussion went on and on and my smirks and talking down finally got to my friends head. He then uttered what I have since learned never to use in an argument. Let's pick it up from there.

"Shut Up!"
I respond - "Why should I shut up? I think I am the one with the points here."
"I said, shut up"
"Last time I checked, this was still MY apartment. I have the freedom to say whatever I want!"

Yeah. He had the same reaction you are having. Disbelief. I think it even took some alcohol out of his liver. He raced to the door, and stormed out. I did not go after him - After all, his apartment was only half a mile away, he cannot drive drunk, so I figured he would come back and we could talk things down. Shortly after, my ego and I fell asleep, unaware of the fact that he decided to walk all the way back to his apartment in the cold, without his jacket.

Now, let's not rush to demonize me. The next morning, (more like noon when I woke up) I drove up to his place, surrendered my ego (hangover too) and apologized to him. He smiled and said - hereafter we are not discussing that stuff ever again. Surprisingly, we kept that promise ever since.

Slowly, Life happened. It was like being at a railroad crossing and watching a long train go by. Life's events came and went changing us in the process. We changed jobs, changed apartments, started to build our individual lives and got busy in its betterment.

Fast forward nine years - My friend decided not to accept permanent residency in the US, so he found a job in India, and now lives there with his family I found home in the bay area, and am in the process of raising a family here. Who knew back then that we were predicting each others lives instead of our own? As my tenth year in the bay area comes up this summer, this incident always makes me think of how I have changed in life, how yesterday's priorities have become today's jokes and how the past helps me put a perspective of what the future holds. Life is indeed an amazing journey.

Oversized egos and meticulous planning about the future may bark, but it is reality that bites.

Perils of Automation?

Look what turned up in huffingtonpost.com's main page today (Jan 24, 2009)

Since when did dying become entertainment? I can't believe I am part of the website automation crowd.

Someone needs to save the world from total computer automation.

My parting gift and suggestions to Mr. Raju!

Irony's a bitch.

That's because it has the habit of biting one's butt when you least expect it.
At least that is what is going through Mr. Ramalinga Raju's (former embezzler CEO of Satyam) mind as he sits in his jail cell, perusing through magazines and waiting on the next installment of questions from the CID (Criminal Investigation Department). How do you know, you ask? Well, I know from the totally fictitious conversation I had with him this Sunday when I was dozing off on my (ever so embracing) couch. Curious? Here's the instant message exchange in its entirety.

sunilscribbles: Hey there Raju!
jailnotgr8: Careful there boy, you better call me Sir..I have hired tens of thousands of mere software engineers like you! Don't ever forget that we are in 2 different classes of society.
sunilscribbles: right sir, but I pay taxes that help law enforcement to put tens of thousands of law breakers like you behind bars...
jailnotgr8: hmm..you may have a point there, Sudheer.
sunilscribbles: My name is Sunil, not Sudheer.
jailnotgr8: Whatever - you desi software engineers are all the same.
sunilscribbles: nice nickname, by the way...totally captures your mood.
jailnotgr8: my cellmate recommended it, I think its great too. OK, so what did you want to talk about?
sunilscribbles: About the whole Satyam fiasco, I guess...
jailnotgr8: I have told it a million times already - Started out as a small overstatement, then it just grew as if it was on steroids, I had no choice, really.
sunilscribbles: What bull! Everyone has a choice. You sound like the mafia don who started out by stealing a loaf of bread; then at a later stage of life blames the society and says he had no choice. Come on Mr. Raju, people have more brains that that...
jailnotgr8: Oh you think so, Mr. Custodian of righteousness? Haven't you seen all the good coverage I am getting? I am still the hero of my village. Besides, just because the World Bank grew a conscience out of guilt does not make me or Satyam particularly bad.
sunilscribbles: Riiiight, I am sure the $1 Billion overstated profit has nothing to do with it.
jailnotgr8: I see. I have a question - Do you mix this sarcasm in your code too? Does your manager know about it?
sunilscribbles: Good one! Let's not go off topic. Listen - any qualms in naming your company "Satyam" - The Sanskrit word for truth?
jailnotgr8: Irony's a bitch. What more can I say? You live in the US, right? You accept that "24 hour fitness" is just a name, not their work ethic; many of their locations are not open for 24 hours a day - so why blame Satyam alone?
sunilscribbles: huh? I see you are repeating your overstatement in analogies too. So how is the interrogation going? I read that the CID grilled you - is that true?
jailnotgr8: far from it! They have the utmost respect for me. They think I am the next Charles Shobhraj! In fact, one of the officer's son will complete his MBA next year; so in exchange for some favors from him, I will be trying to pull some of my contacts to get that kid a good job!
sunilscribbles: That's not fair - How dare they?
jailnotgr8: From all your frustration, I guess you lost some money in Satyam stock? How much did you lose in Nasdaq?
sunilscribbles: I don't want to get into specifics, but enough to buy a used Honda civic. I sure hope you enjoy that car when you get out of jail after 10 years.
jailnotgr8: LOL! You crack me up susheel - that's great wishful thinking. If you mean retirement, then sure, I am thinking about in the next 10 years. In fact, I am discussing that with my jailmate, Kosaraju Venkateshwara Rao.
sunilscribbles: My name is not..(sigh) Anyway, is this the same guy who allegedly duped depositors of nearly Rs 32 crore (Rs 320 million) and fled to Bangkok?
jailnotgr8: Spot on! I am finding more like minded people here than on that god forsaken Satyam Board!
sunilscribbles: How come they allow use of Instant messaging to such evil minded criminals?
jailnotgr8: They don't, you fool! This is totally a made up convo- remember?
sunilscribbles: oh, right - In that case, enjoy my used Honda civic Mr. Raju, and do stick the logo that I have put up above - it reads "asatyam", the complete opposite of "satyam". May I also recommend reading "My experiments with Truth" by Gandhiji while you are killing time in your cell? Who knows, you may even make money by writing a second part - "My experiments ( the other kind) with Satyam" since sequels are all the rage now a days.
jailnotgr8: haaaa haa haa (make no mistake - I am mocking you!). After some years, I will be back strutting my heels on the floors of high society and you will still be a common man trying to make ends meet. So there you go, I have the last laugh - Deal with it.
sunilscribbles has logged off.
jailnotgr8: I knew it! He could never handle reality - What a loser!

"Honey! Are you still on the couch? Could you get me a diaper for the baby? And make it quick".

Oops! The previous line was not from my instant messaging encounter, but a small dose of "wakeup" juice to reality.

May your Happiness jigsaw puzzle come together!

Now that we are well into the New Year, the downpour of "Happy New Year" wishes have slimmed down to a trickle or a drop here and there. Though small, my reader base holds special value to me. All of us lead extremely busy lives and any time dedicated to non stellar blogs like mine is hugely appreciated(by me). Needless to say, I had a big urge to wish all of you a great holiday season and a Happy new year. But then the afterthought struck me (refer blog title :>)  - it would just be another robotic wish in this age of automation. Depending on your viewpoint, this blog will provide with you an  a la carte of flavors, but vanilla, you shall not receive. (with whole hearted apologies to lovers of the vanilla flavor). 

Enough of the preface - on to my complex New Year Wish. Let me share what I think - hopefully it will prompt you to think about what a "Happy New Year" wish means to you and how to go about achieving the same.

I have always thought that happiness is a jigsaw puzzle. The fortunate few are able to assemble all the pieces in the right order and voila! - there's happiness abound. But if you are like most others, you are happy if you are able to find a majority of those pieces and put them together. The size and shapes of those pieces differ as you journey through life. In my late teens, the largest piece that formed the puzzle was "get wasted and party" - not so much now (partly because my body doesn't want to put up with it).  Right now, the biggest piece in my happiness puzzle is the health and well being of my family (yes, I am that old) and the other small pieces include my job, friends (this piece is relatively large, but has a complex shape - sometimes I am confused as to where it fits) and other extra curricular activities. When you have irritants at your workplace, remember -  it is only a small piece of your puzzle; you still get to keep the other pieces!

So I wish you this - May your happiness jigsaw puzzle come together this year and may it stay that way. You may have to readjust it from time to time when the shapes of things change - the recipe of happiness is an ever changing one. If everyone were happy with the same things, we would all be fighting for those anyway. 

Let the New Year bring you the ability to find your pieces, fit it all together without much difficulty and enjoy the finished product in every way possible.  Happy New Year!