A series of fortunate events

(You are being forewarned - this is a long post; but I have done my best to keep it interesting. Hope you like it!)
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"911. what is your emergency?"
I took a deep breath and replied -  "I am stuck in left most lane on highway 680. My SUV just refuses to start!"
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We had been planning on going for a cabin trip for a while. The excitement really began to build in the last week prior to the trip. 7 of my friends, their families, a rusty wood cabin in south lake Tahoe and a weekend. Mix all of that in equal proportions and it becomes a perfect recipe for fun. I took off from work early that day and started packing for the trip.First step, clear all the junk that has piled up in my not so fuel efficient SUV. I cleaned up, locked the car, threw the trash in our apartment dumpster and got back to my home. It was then I noticed that the car key was missing. Maybe I left it in my other car - I thought. I took the keys of the other car and looked  - No, it isn't there. Then it struck me and the mere thought of it brought sweat to my temples - Yep, I had thrown it with the other trash into the dumpster. Fortunately, the dumpster had not been cleared yet, so I was able to retrieve it. While walking back, I thought - the other car is pretty messy too, I should clean it. So I followed through.
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"Ok, is there anyone other than you in the car?"
"Yes - my wife, 2 kids and my mom". After making sure that all of us were alright, she said that she would send someone to help us in a couple of minutes.
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"I think that's it", I said as I was looking around inside the apartment. "Right?" and I looked at my wife for reassurance. She usually remembers all the stuff that I forget (and most of the time, they are the most important ones). "I think so. If we missed anything, we can always buy it from there.",  she said as she was walking towards the car. Kids loaded? check. Seatbelts clicked? check.Directions? Check. "OK Jacob, let's go!" - I shouted in excitement and off we were to a fun trip. Or so we thought.
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"Does this mean we won't be able to get to the cabin?" My son asked with tears rolling down his eyes.
"No, Jacob. I called someoone and they are going to send someone to help us."
"Yaaay!", came his reply. I was just glad that everyone in the car were calm and were not freaking out. I wouldn't be surprised if they did - After all, we were right in the middle of a highway, stranded in car on the left most lane and waiting for help of some sort. I started calling my friends one by one to update them of my status.
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As we made made a turn to get out of our apartment complex, I took out my phone to make a call and thought - "Darn, the keys of the other car are still in my pocket - Now I will have to carry these through the weekend. Too late to return and put it back.". I called my friend and told him that we were on our way ahead of the scheduled time and that we will make it to the cabin well before nightfall. At this point my wife said "You know what, we forgot to take the beach chairs - now we won't have chairs to sit on the beach". Oh well, it is only the chairs, that's fine, we concluded.
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In the rear view mirror, I saw 2 motorcycles with sirens and lights come to a stop behind my vehicle. "Ah, help has come" - I said with a sigh of relief. He gave me instructions to slowly turn the car back to the shoulder lane and as I followed, the vehicle slowly slid back into the shoulder lane, clearing the path for the traffic behind us. "The tow truck is on it's way" one of the cops said and they were on their way. "That was quick" I said to my mom and my wife alluding to the fact that the it had only been around 10 minutes since our car stopped to take my orders. "Is a big truck coming?" My son asked. "Yes, and it is going to take our car out of this road" I replied as I got out of the car and kept an eye out for an enormous ( and yellow most of the time) tow truck.
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"Oh god, the traffic is horrible" my mom said as we were trying to merge into the highway filled with people and cars trying to "getaway from it all" during the weekend. As we were moving inch by inch, I called and synchronized the statuses of all of the attendees of our cabin trip - everyone was on their way except one. His son had some homework to do, so they will be starting late. "Oh no, they will be missing the early fun", I said in disappointment. "At least we will get some time to unwind since we reach there early", my wife added. Little did she know that it was all about to change in 20 minutes.
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Approximately 20 minutes later, our car sputtered, hissed and then came to a stop as it was climbing a small slope under an overpass. That marks the end of this time warp and takes us to the beginning of the story.

Let me speed you through the rest of story as it is not interesting as the previous part had been (at least to me). The tow truck came (contrary to my assumption, it was not yellow - it was white and did I mention huge?), loaded my SUV onto it. My son and I were amazed at the sheer size and capability of this truck (I think it's a guy thing). We then rode back to an exit and and were unloaded onto a "safe zone" (I rode in the tow truck and my family, in another SUV that accompanied the tow truck). So there we were - in the parking lot of a shopping complex, waiting for the AAA technician and wondering whatever will happen to our greatly anticipated weekend getaway.

Now, you may be thinking - what does this title have to do with this story? You had all this happen and you call it a series of fortunate events? I know - I must be crazy, right? Let me explain - as it took me 3 weeks to figure it out - the prominence of the title is in the unfolding of events after this point.

The AAA technician finally arrived and he said he couldn't fix it that day, so he would have to take it to his shop. They would be closed for the weekend, so he could take a look at it only on Monday. I called my friend, who had not started for the trip yet, arranged for him to come and pick me up, transferred all our stuff on to his trunk, kept the keys of my SUV under the front carpet, locked it and left it there to be picked up by the AAA guy. We then drove back to my apartment, got the other car, came back to the "safe zone", picked up my family and were on our way to the cabin trip. It was like nothing happened. The weekend was great, we had a lot of fun and our family realized that a huge SUV does not augment to one's capability of having fun.

Now to the series of fortunate events - Cleaning out the other car enabled us to take the car for the trip. It helped that we left the beach chairs at home as it would not have fit into my other car or my friend's SUV. I locked my vehicle when I left it for pickup, so taking the other set of keys helped me to get back into my apartment and take the other car for the trip. If it were not for bumper to bumper traffic, some other car would have rammed into us when we suddenly slipped into "stationary" mode on the freeway. And finally, had my friend started early, we would have hailed a cab, gone back home and spent the weekend thinking -"Whatever  happened to our ever reliable SUV?". Besides, the traffic did not let us go very far from where we live, thus "making the trip back home and then heading out again idea" a realistic one.

To conclude, here is what I think - unfortunate events can happen at any time in your life, but if you have a series of fortunate events precede it and great friends to break your fall, the event may turn out to be - well, not that unfortunate.

Who appointed you the leader...

of this moral outfit?

Yes, I am talking to you - the CEO of big corp who was once an entrepreneur, took advantage of all the facilities a middle class society provided and now wants the middle class eliminated.

Yes, I am talking to you - the priest who talks about what the lord commanded us to do, works towards elimination of women's choice, vehemently supports the preservation of  'the sanctity of marriage' and then molests boys behind the walls of a closed confession box.

Yes, I am talking to you - the married couple who say they are too busy to have kids, claim that they are not mature enough to raise kids and then lecture others on how to properly raise their kids.

Yes, I am talking to you - the mullah who swears by the Koran, preach brotherly love and then brainwash kids to strap explosives around them and fight infidels so you can have your moral orgasm.

Yes - I am talking to you - the elected representative who puts on a 'friendly face' mask while you plead for votes, promise the people their unfettered dedication and love, and then go to bed with special interests and their lobbying prostitutes.

Yes, I am talking to you - the Hindu pujari who supposedly embodies negation of worldly pleasures, is a servant of the gods, but refuses to touch a devotee because he/she is from a lower caste.

Yes, I am talking to you - the political and financial pundit who is a know it all and is an 'enabler' of the common man, but try to push your own agenda through scare tactics and other worldly intimidation.

And finally, I am talking to you - the person in the mirror, who set out to lead a good life, provide for you and your family and do some good deeds along the way, but ended up selling up a piece of your soul to be a "team player" for humanity so that you can be a "normal" and "successful" specimen of the homosapien species.

You may be a leader of hypocrisy, but a leader of me - you are not. I know that there is next to no chance of this happening, but I am going to keep hoping that our paths do not cross.

End Rant.

Because...

• Its too late in the night for an early thinking stage.
• I have been battling a nasty headache for the past couple of hours that has been causing a pulsating ring in my ears.
• My son has been coughing all night for the past week which took away my routine sleep routinely.
• Procrastination has been big on the "Threats" section in my SWOT analysis.
• I want to post something that does justice to anybody spends their valuable time reading my blog.

There are other reasons too, but there you have it, my top 5 reasons for not posting anything substantial this time around. Let me also take this white space (which happens to be free and out in the "internets") to express gratitude to my ever curious and inquisitive reader base for putting me in this position of self improvement.

To quote my guv'nah Mr. Schwarzenegger - " I will be Back"

Micromanagement: An analysis

"Now he has 3000 people to micromanage".

That was the comment of my ex-colleague (and now friend) about the promotion of his boss as VP. "A very clever thought"- I said, and then we moved on to other more important topics.

I brought this thought back from the dark corners of my brain to the forefront for analysis while idling away at a later time. Do all of us have a right to complain about micromanagement? Don't we do it in our day to day lives? How many times have we said something and then quickly followed it up with - "Sorry, It's just that I am very particular about this stuff." Nice excuse, but isn't it camouflage for having things your way - aka micromanagement?

A couple of years ago, I was at my friend's son's birthday party and paying attention to what the party clown was doing (I know you meet a lot of clowns at parties, but this was the guy in the costume - he was paid to be one). He had handed out pens and papers for the kids there and was asking questions. The kids were supposed to solve some problems using intelligent and thought provoking answers. Pretty run of the mill, but then I noticed that there were some parents between the kids eagerly looking at what the kids were upto. It was then that I realized - they were instructing their own kids to do it the right way (translation - their way) so that they could solve the problem faster. Isn't that micromanagement? Do these parents have a right to complain when their bosses instruct them to do something the right way (again - their way) so that the project can be done quicker?

In my professional life, I have moved from individually contributing positions to leadership positions and back, and I have come to know that work delegation is an art - you have to precisely know what, when, how much and to whom the delegation needs to be done. On one occasion, when my (previous) boss came back from vacation in the midst of a mission critical project I said to him - "I am sure the project delivery status might have bugged you while you lay on the beach." He shook his head and replied - "No, I made the decision to take a vacation knowing that the team could be trusted with their skills and that all of you don't need me looking over your shoulder to get work done.".

So post-mortemically speaking(I know, it's not a word, but I trust you readers with analysis and word deduction skills) , a person tends to micromanage a team/person when he/she

@ thinks they are inept in getting a task done

@ does not trust that they can come up with the best solution without external help

@ thinks they are not motivated enough to get the task done without another pair of eyes overlooking their shoulder

@ has an obsessive compulsive urge to get the task status every few minutes.

So look back at stuff that you have micromanaged (or are doing right now) and check up on the need for it. How frequently do you demand a status update from your team? Do you have to check up on your kids every so often? Do you have to call your spouse every now and then and remind them of their tasks (or ask them when are they going to do it)? Do you have to force your parents to do stuff in the most technologically advanced way because you think that takes the shortest time?

But then...

Maybe your team is waiting to get important stuff completed before they send you a status update. Maybe the kids need to toy with their imagination and beliefs and it takes multiple efforts to learn and get things right. Maybe your spouse needs a break form all the reminders and instructions so that they can clear their mind for all their ToDos. Maybe your parents don't use the internet for paying bills or stand in long lines instead of using the self checkout line, but that is their comfort zone and and that is their assurance that the task will get done.

The next time you complain of being micromanaged, look it up in your life - This time you may be the vanquished, but have you ever been the perpetrator?

What will you do with your platform?

A couple of weekends ago, I was in a cabin at south lake tahoe with my friends. On one of those colorful evenings, we all sat down around the snooker table, and started our usual "song fest" - everyone pitching in with their vocal chords and one of our friends on the Tabla. We were having loads of fun for a long time, but unfortunately, the gathering had to end on a sour note (literally!)

Why, you ask? No, it was neither public drunkenness nor egoistic conflicts that caused it, but the mere wish of the tabla player to hear one of his favorite songs. The rest of the crowd had heard enough of that song, and they did not want a piece of it anymore. No, it never got to a point where an argument broke out or shouting was heard, but the session quickly ended and the tabla went under wraps. Now, I always tilt in the favor of a talented artist, so I am going to side with the tabla player. I know it is hard to please an audience, but once a person has established talent, isn't it fair game for that person to expect some respect from his/her audience?

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Arundhati Roy, after winning a booker prize in 1997 and numerous praises, revealed what she truly liked and thought about the world and was labelled an "Activist Writer" and pushed out from mainstream audiences. Oprah Winfrey, a television powerhouse, lost some of her audience after she came out with her support for Barack Obama, the current US president. Meg Ryan, after becoming America's sweetheart, tried to break free from the romantic lead stereotype and lost most of her audience and ultimately the "sweetheart" title. My friend playing the tabla, tried to express his opinions and quickly went out of favor for some of his listeners.

Without beating around the bush, let me ask the question that I am driving at- If you are given a platform where the masses lend you a piece of their five senses, would you use it to leverage more of it or would you use it to speak your mind? Of course, I would rather be given a platform than be a commoner lending an eye/ear to someone, but would I be able to fight the dilemma that comes with it?

What are you doing with the platform that you have been handed in life? Be it the platform of a parent, a boss, a friend or a soulmate. Obviously, I am not talking about the case where everyone agrees with you and all your audience is on the same aisle as you in the great ideology divide. I am talking about less than best case scenarios. Do you strive to be true to yourself or do you strive to make the platform bigger by pleasing the audience and thereby attracting more of them?

One of the readers of my blog told me - "If you write more about India and topics related to Indians, I am sure there will be more subscribers and readers to your post." Of course, you are intelligent enough to guess my reply - I write about stuff that I care about and what I feel is right. (Let us put aside for a moment, the fact that my audience is nowhere near a critical mass to shake things up.) Since advise is among one of the few things that are still free, let me dole out some.

Impart "values" and "morals" from the platform of a parent instead of the usual "Great Job" rhetoric. From the platform of a boss, look up, not down to people who report to you (Remember, some of them did have a choice but still stuck with you). Accept your loved one as a whole (the good with the bad) when you are handed the platform of a soul mate. Most importantly, be true to yourself and use the leverage to promote goodness in this truly amazing world of ours.

With that, I mark the end of my short and sweet Avatar as a preacher. Hopefully, I made you think. As for the Tabla player, we are all jamming this weekend at his place - I am looking forward to his reaction when the spotlight beam shines on his face.

Games parents play

"Dad, can you change my name when I am a little older?" As I took my eyes off the road and looked at the rear view mirror, I could see my son's eyes squint a little in an effort to hide his embarrassment. He was sitting in the rear seat and he shrugged soon after he finished up his question. We had named our son Jacob (after my dad) and it was an anglicized name - I have heard of other Indian kids complain about their names sounding too Indian and hard to pronounce, but Jacob - no, that is not a name to complain about. I laid my eyes on the road again for a bit and then turned back and asked - "Why do you want to change your name, Jacob?". "I don't know", came the reply - " just because."

Soon, I was at a traffic light that turned red - so I stepped on the brake, turned around and continued my conversation. "There must be some reason- If it is a valid one, we can think of changing your name", I said. I knew in my heart that it was a lie, but a dad's gotta do what he has to do to get his son spill the beans on what is really going on.

"Well, a kid in my class calls me Jacobi to make it sound like I am a small kid". I could sense the sadness in his voice. "And I don't want to be a small kid". "Hmm.." I thought to myself - "If what I said earlier were true, this would be a good reason to change his name - since his feelings got hurt."

"Well Jacob, you have to tell him that it Jacobi is not your name and that you don't like being called that name."

"I told him that - like two hundred times; but he said he doesn't care and calls me Jacobi anyway." At that point I knew that he had really tried hard to resolve the situation - because two hundred is his largest number - anything unimaginably huge is two hundred for him.

"Oh..OK", I mumbled, which was my place holder response in lieu of a clear answer or resolution.

I had to turn my attention to the road again as the car behind me started honking. By the way, is it just me or does the red light always change to green when you really want it to stay red for a bit longer? Sorry, back to the point of discussion.

I started thinking about how this muddy situation could be cleared. "What is the name of the that kid?" I asked. "Mark (name changed)" came the reply.

I gave it more thought. "Ok, heres what you do Jacob - Call him markee and say that he looks like a small kid and sounds like one too. If he gets angry, let him know that you will stop once he stops calling you Jacobi and that's how the deal works. Got it?"

"YES! - that is a good idea!" I could see the appreciation and happiness that glittered in his eyes. He was happy that his dad had helped him solve a problem that was nagging him for a couple of days. After all, it was only the third day of school this year.

And then I thought some more. "What if Mark does not get annoyed? What if Mark's dad counters this with another strategy? This is getting interesting. I don't even know Mark's dad, but I am eagerly awaiting his next move. Wow, this is like playing a strategy game without spending the money to buy it. What if this is wrong? Shouldn't I be telling him to lay low and be diplomatic whenever he can? Wait, the real world is not going to be soft and politically correct and diplomatic all the time, so this could be an early training package for him - on how real life is going to be. Besides, he tried the diplomatic route already."

That night, he gave me the privilege of reading him a book. Usually that spot was reserved for my wife. I was elated that he had already found a friend in me. "Yes, this is a team game", I thought to myself. "Bring it on; Mark's dad! Put your game face on! May the parent with the best wits win."

The inevitable break up

Yes, it had to happen. She is too much in demand to be tied to one person. Plus, I could not hold on to her for ever. So goodbye, dear hiatus; looking forward to having more flings with you in the near future.

(Refer to my previous post for more hints on what I am talking about.)

To all of you whom I forgot during my getaway - my most sincere apologies. It is not that I forgot about you, but the fun I had did indeed fill up my brain space (and I am not known for having a big brain - ask my wife!).

So thanks to all of you who kept checking in and inquiring about more posts through visits or emails - I am humbled and indebted to you because you spend some of your valuable time checking up on what I am up to. I am finally back to the daily grind and its antidotes(especially this one).

Good to see you, real life! I can't say I missed you, but I sure can say that I look forward to your companionship.