Can you decide on exactly what you want?

"I want that Red Hot wheels car with yellow wheels and red Hot Rod written on it" said my son, pointing to the exact model of the toy car he wanted from a sea of Hot Wheels cars.   I looked at all of them and couldn't tell many models from others. The immediate afterthought that came to my mind was "how come he can tell exactly what he wants from the sea of choices?". This time I turned the tables on him and asked "why"? Who knew in a couple of seconds I would regret asking that  - he started explaining in detail on why the color choices were those and what that model could do tat others can't and..well, you get the point.

I know what you are thinking - he is just a kid, he doesn't have to think of any consequences or repercussions of his choice. Which does mean that all of us had the same skill when we were children. We always knew what we wanted, what we craved for.  What we never had in our minds were questions like "Is it too much to ask for?", "I just got a toy last week, so maybe I shouldn't ask for one this week", or "Does my dad love me enough to even consider buying this toy?" or even "Is it realistic for me to think I will get this toy". We just knew what we wanted and we asked for it, come hell or highway.

Now somewhere along the way of growing up into overly concerned adults, we lost that uncanny ability. Even if we get to the point of knowing what we want, we never seem to cross the hurdle of a million questions to ask ourselves before expressing the need for it. Why do we constrain our needs with doubts like those? When we think of something we want, do we really need to muddle it by asking a bunch of reality based questions? Won't it blur the picture of what our exact need or specific need is?

After giving it some thought, I think we should not muddy the waters of what we are looking for. This way, we can get to what we want faster. And trust me, it will be the thing you actually want - Not something that looks like it, or something you could do with for the time being, or something you can live with or settle for. It will be exactly.what.you.want.

Ok, so now you get the picture of what you want - it maybe a raise, a promotion, a proposal, a relationship or a car or bike that you have been craving for.  So now, what is preventing you from asking for it  - may it be from yourself, your significant other, your boss or your mom( though if it is your mom you need to ask, then maybe there are other things you need in life :)) Are you sure that your object of desire has not been compromised by your other thoughts of whether it is attainable or not? Granted, no man is an island (and most definitely, men in a committed relationship never are ) but then expressing your exact, specific need and stating the reason for it can yield surprising results. Maybe it is a slap on the face or maybe a pat on the back or a kiss on the cheek. And if the result was among the last two, you are almost guaranteed that you will get what you want.

So a summary of the post you ask? None whatsoever - the whole point I was trying to make - dont let your needs be a summary; instead make them specific bullet points; ones that others will be compelled to read in full and understand it with the premise, so you can get what you want without them cutting you short of what you need.

Now onto focusing on how I can get my son to ask for less expensive toys.