Is your heart a Lake or a Marsh?

It was the summer of a year that marked the beginning of this millennium. I locked up my apartment in a hurry and walked down the stairs. My heart was getting heavier with each step I took downstairs. As I walked around the block to my friend's apartment, the phone call I received from him a couple of minutes earlier was still ringing in my head.

"I got a phone call from India," he said in that call. "My Dad passed away". As he went on with more details, my brain was already processing fond memories of his dad  - a very funny, intelligent and compassionate man who also happened to be a doctor. The news sank into my heart instantly - bringing out emotions that I never thought I had in the first place. With each passing minute, the news was digging deep into me; generating a whole bunch of questions - how could this happen? How would it impact my friend, his sister and mom? Had they already found out about this? How did they react?

I lost my father at a very young age, so I knew how the loss of a father figure could affect a person's mentality. It is not just the loss of a person - it is the loss of a friend, a support system and most importantly, a brutally honest critic. All of this cocoons into something that makes you want to be a better person all your life.

As I entered my friend's apartment and hugged him, I completely lost it. I was in tears and and held him tight, looking to console him out of his sorrow(as if that was possible). He then patted on my back and said, "It's ok, It's ok". It was then I realized something - the news had not struck him yet; he was still in no man's land, coming to terms with what had happened. There were no tears, just a blank look which, to an outsider,  would give an impression that he had everything under control. But I had known my friend for sometime now and I knew that there was a void that was created which could only be filled in by accepting the dreadful fact of his loss.

After making arrangements for his trip to India, some of my other friends and I saw him off at the airport that night. This was before 9/11, so we could go all the way up to the gate. We rehashed some memories of  the man, there were complaints about the long flight and a few laughs out of my friend. I thought to myself - "Ok, he still has not grappled with the news yet, but maybe the 18 hours of flight will do it".

It has been 10 years since then, and I have to say that not only did the news sink in for him, but it has been with them since then. I get a sense of it from the conversations that I have with him, the blog posts that he writes and the off hand impromptu remark that comes out of him.

Which brings me back to the post's title (it's about time) - when it comes to your heart is it a lake or a marsh? When news comes your way in the shape of a black stone, what does your heart morph into? A lake in which the stone sinks fast, but can be easily taken out by undercurrents? or a marsh where in the stone sinks slowly, making marks along its way and hard to move around? Or a mix of both?

Let us hope that whatever shape our hearts take, it never gets a bad news stone thrown at it. I know life is not full of happiness, so if something has to be thrown at it, may it be pebbles - that skip until it crosses the lake, and are so light that they could never sink into the marsh.


Image courtesy :www.myspaceantics.com

Hail to the curves!

If you enjoy driving, would you have more fun driving a road with curves or a straight road? I thought so too.Yeah, as said before - "Straight roads are for fast cars, but curvy roads are for fast drivers".

But this post is not about roads. Or cars. Or cars on curvy roads. This is my official outrage post on the obsession that the media and the fashion industry have with sticky thin women. Where are the curves? The biggest moneymaker tag line for ads these days is "Lose Weight". The corporations are arming us up with shoes, equipment, motivation and even yogurt to fight the fat. Now I am not losing sight of the obesity epidemic we have in this country. I realize that if I keep up my current eating and drinking habits, I will be part of it. But what is wrong with healthy, curvaceous figures? Why would someone lose their chiseled curves (and working hard at it, mind you) to achieve a straight line with no details attached to it? Aren't humans supposed to be the most evolved of all species? If so, I am sure the curves have evolved as evidence of nature's belief that these will indeed guarantee the survival of the human race. At this pace, the ramps of fashion shows may as well be built by cardboard in a couple of years.

When I turn on the news, the news anchor has her cheekbones  and collarbones protruding out of the TV, screaming for attention. So instead of thinking "what's up with the world?", I am thinking "why won't somebody feed this woman?". When I was on the verge of entering my teen years, I would sneak out to watch hollywood movies to watch the lovemaking scenes which were not present in Indian movies. Now that I can go to one these movies or rent it on my own free will (or to be more clear, whenever my wife lets me), I cannot tell the difference between the guy and the girl (To the couple of naughty readers, no, I wasn't watching "Brokeback Mountain").

The next time you walk around, pinch yourself whenever you see or hear "low fat" or "no fat" - I bet you cannot play that game long enough to get you through your day. There is a mad rush to get to size "zero", but sadly, when people reach that size, they look more like a "one". So all you models and movie stars wondering why your partner left you for a more "real" woman, there lies the real answer. (Ok, Ok I do realize that not many models or movie stars read my blog - but I am just sayin').

Yes, I like my car with a stick shift, my rice with gravy and my women, curvy. (I know it sounds too cheesy, but it rhymed so well I could not let go of it). I am married, so I am not on the lookout for more women - but you get the point. Really, I am not (Honey, you should be reading this). And I apologize to folks who saw a ray of hope.

So here's to hoping that curvy models will make a comeback and we will see more healthy people in our day to day life. The day is not far off - it is the same day we will be receiving Universal Health Care.( Ha Ha)

P.S - Take a look at this  - "Bald model opens Fashion Show". Now that they have got rid of the fat, they are coming after your hair. Run!