The other day, I was slowly cutting through the chores of the day and knocking down the "ToDo"s one by one, when I was interrupted by an instant message from my friend's sister - "U there?". Delighted by the interruption and unusual discourse from my daily grind, I replied "yep very much here; what's up?"
She went on to say that she just wanted to talk since she was feeling sleepy and wanted to strike a conversation so she could focus back on work again. I was more than happy to oblige.
"Why are you not learning anything?"
"What?", I responded, and then added, "I am in the technology domain, I learn new things on a daily basis and I make an effort to pick up new stuff to prevent my slow slide to obscurity at work"
"No not that - like higher studies, an MBA or something similar"
"Well, I already have a masters, so I don't think I need an MBA.."
"But..but..you could do something to advance your career; look at all the time you are wasting while trying to learn guitar, play volleyball, badminton and watching TV - you could be learning something useful!"
And the conversation went on.
****
That got me thinking - All the time we spent on activities for selfish enjoyment, are we hampering our chances to advance in the corporate ladder? In other words, is life all about making it better? I think no - what is the fun in the journey when you don't have time to stop for a bit and reflect upon how far you have traveled? Shouldn't you be taking a breather exploiting the fruits of all your hard work? Sure - the million dollar mansion, that luxury car and branded clothes you wear while working hard could enhance your sense of achievement, but if you don't have time to unwind and enjoy it, is it worth having?
Countless times, we have been witness to stories where a person loses everything dear to them in the pursuit of their definition of success and achievement. "But I was working hard for all of you so you could enjoy all these worldly pleasures" goes the main character. The supporting cast promptly replies - "That maybe true, but you weren't here when we needed you".
So I say - if you can goof off without worrying about what life throws at you next and you are sure you have provided just enough for people who depend on you, you have it good. I will even say that you have earned it - payback for all the toil you put in earlier in your life. Learn an instrument you know you will be bad at, play games you have never even considered playing, keep changing channels mindlessly on your TV, scratch your genitals and get screamed at by your wife for it (this is for men, don't know what equates for women), sleep in on weekends, take your kids for trick or treating dressed up as a monster while there is a burning customer issue and spend countless hours perfecting your conspiracy theories. I guarantee you, these have lasting effects on your longevity than the alternatives. Sure enough, you will be labeled as complacent, lazy and just as a 'moderate success', but then, isn't fun always accompanied by some flak?
Or you could pursue life advancement, use up all your weekends and evenings for it, simultaneously advancing your age for enjoying the fruits of your labor. You may have a target for when you think your life is "stable enough" but mind you, it will be a moving target and will always look different when viewed through different age lenses.
As for me, I choose to make frequent stops in my fun journey, take in the view and let the breeze hit my face before moving on to what lies ahead.
****
Back to my Instant messaging exchange - we were just finishing up and she typed
"thanks a lot - you sparked something I can fuel my thoughts on"
"You are welcome"
"..and I don't feel sleepy now, good that I decided to chat with you"
"You are welcome for that too..bye"
I could bask in the glory of that praise - or I could look up online courses on how to improve communication skills, sign up for one, take up a secondary career on it, get paid more for perfecting more career advancing skills, ..., ...
No prizes for correctly guessing the path I chose.
5 comments:
Couldn't sleep, so dropped in to see if you had any new posts. Wasn't disappointed. :-)
This one really got me thinking though. I was trying to figure out when was the last time I did something I really enjoyed... and sadly, I couldn't even remember. I don't mean to say that I am too busy to just relax and maybe take a nap or read a magazine. I do that out of necessity - otherwise I would be in a strait-jacket, locked in a padded cell somewhere. :-) But I used enjoy doing something creative with my free time, and I haven't done that in quite a while.
Another point: I may be isolated in thinking this way, but I strongly feel that women are at a disadvantage here. In the midst of juggling a successful career, home and kids, they hardly have any time or energy left to focus on anything else. I keep saying to myself that once my kids leave home and go to college (hopefully in about 15 years), I will dust off my creativity and do something worthwhile with my time. :-)
@Kamal
Thanks..Glad to know my blog is a natural cure for insomnia :-)
I am glad the post made you put on your thinking cap. Let me add that anything you do for yourself (even if its a waste of time in the world's viewpoint) is payback for all your hard work - if the activity is forced to be creative or for a purpose, I think that kills the motive.
Also agree that women who have a family to support, are at a disadvantage in general. All the things I wrote about - playing a game, learning an instrument were possible only because my other half was doing house duty at the time. So I guess as long as everyone is willing to trade places and let others do what they truly want, the family may be able to strike a balance.
You are right; ambition is different from fun…but if only we could make a career out of what we enjoy doing. Then ambition can be equated to fun, don’t you think? There are people out there who enjoy learning and more learning – climbing and more climbing the corporate ladder. They find it fun, so they’re not missing anything in life. They just love what they do. And there are others, whose mentality is “jack of all trades, master of none”. They are not missing much in life too. Then there’s this third category that started off on the wrong footing, call it wrong career (maybe due to circumstances or maybe due to lack of hindsight), realized their calling too late and continue in the first route in order to support dependents and their current lifestyles. Unhappy is what they are ….no fun for these poor folks. Call me a bore, but why waste moments by moving in life without a purpose esp. when the life is too short? I think your thinking is totally opposite. I am a perfectionist and I do hate half-hearted attempts in life. So I wouldn’t mind belonging to that first category as long as it is not corporate climbing :) (yeah what a stuffed shirt you must be thinking, that’s what I am :)). At the moment I am really stuck in two. So where does that leave me? I don’t know. Follow my name and let me know what you think, your post reminded me of this piece.
@UL
First of all, I think people who can make a career out of what they love are the luckiest people - they have it going right. As you said, there are people who enjoy lots of learning; that means they are spending time on what they loved most and are able to set aside other priorities in life. I would say they have earned it too..after all, we all know studying is not always the most financially rewarding choice.The place where I disagree is when you say people doing things without a purpose - I would say that the purpose might be enjoyment or self reward or sense of accomplishment, so the purpose is always served.
I used to be a perfectionist, so I exactly know where you are coming from, although I had to put those instincts to rest since all the fun
you need to have is marred by the constant nagging in your head "Is this perfect?" I have come to learn in life that some of the imperfections in life is more beautiful than when everything is in order. I think you are too strict on yourself... I would say let go some of it and enjoy..as you said, life is short - no time to worry about the past or the future.
From the first part of my comments, you might have figured out that answer for "where does that leave me?". Learning is your quest, either to correct something in the past or change something in the future - either way, you are doing what you need to do even if it falls in the category of self discovery.
Let me leave you with one thought - Imagine if Columbus had a perfect plan and charted his course correctly to his intended destination. What if he had aborted his sail mid course because he thought it was a journey without purpose? Would he have influenced history the way he has now?
very interesting Sunil, I will be back with a response. Right now duty calls, looks like I have another topic read too, will be back..keep penning.
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