The Penn is mightier than the sword

No, the title does not have a typo - Read on.
It is a little too late to discuss this year's Oscars, but this year's event was not lackluster and there were some moments that deserve special mention. Usually I am not into Oscars, but this year, I was particularly interested since Slumdog Millionaire had attracted so much hype. For me the Oscars stood out for 2 reasons - The "Mozart from Madras" (as he is sometimes known) A. R Rahman's 2 Oscars and Sean Penn's acceptance speech.

Both men have immense talent riding on their shoulders, but they proved that their souls were oscar worthy too. They decided to use the opportunity of a center stage spotlight to voice their opinions - however unpopular they may be (Rahman's not so much). Sean Penn started off with "You commie homo-loving sons of guns" and I went "Yes!". He has been constantly criticized and ridiculed in public (and in the industry) for his support of equal rights - may it be among different classes (hence the name commie; for communist) and among people with diffrerent sexual orientations (hence the name homo loving). He could have easily chosen to be non political and walked away in the glory that the Academy bestowed upon him. But in my opinion, he did the right thing - used his opportunity to voice an opinion about a cause much bigger than himself. A.R.Rahman's speech was also directed at people who hate. "All my life I had a choice between love and hate; I chose love and I am here" - he said, and walked away to the music of "Jai Ho". That was magical. He used Hindi and Tamil in his speeches and proved that being humble never goes out of style.

It is a tough act to stand up for one's beliefs and opinions when you are pacing yourself up the popularity ladder. Your career and reputation is at risk and you may not know whom you end up offending. Take the example of Arundhati Roy, who, after winning the Booker prize in 1997 started voicing her opinions about War, poverty and capitalism thereby quickly falling out of global popularity charts.

Early on in my career, I did fake agreement with my manager's viewpoints and opinions since I did not want to lose a step in my career ladder. As my beliefs grew stronger, I realized that acting on principle may cost you dearly, but buys you a sense of righteousness and peace of mind which are never on sale at Walmart(or any other store). I do my best these days to voice my opinion to any audience I get (I rarely get any - makes it easier); and sure enough, I have rubbed some of my friends the wrong way.

On the other end of the spectrum, Governer of Louisiana, Bobby Jindal used his opportunity in the spotlight to voice his concerns on Obama's stimulus package. He too, quickly fell out of the popularity charts - but not for standing up for his beliefs. He showed us that just being a young and dynamic politician and being born to immigrants is not always president material. Being a computer programmer, I deal with logic all the time so there were a couple of places where I felt the logic was not adding up. Mainly, he was speaking up against government while holding publicly elected office. Oh, the irony! Also, in his speech he said that when he was young, his dad told him - "Bobby, you can do anything". Wasn't his name good old "Piyush" then? ( I know, I am being silly here , but hey, I always voice my opinion - remember?)

Remember, Stay true to what you believe - they are a result of what you have gone through in life. And when the world gives you a stage, grab it by the horns and make it yours instead of staging the world on it!

Let your little worries prevail...

This morning as I was sipping on my morning tea and browsing through my day-opener websites, the mental worry train started its journey. Why are my stocks dwindling? Why is the economy still plummeting? Why is my to do list getting longer? Why is life so hectic?

My wife then reminded me that we had an appointment with the doctor for our little girl. She had been getting some blue lumps on her body that kept appearing and disappearing - so we figured we should be getting some professional advice rather than just staring at those lumps and being intrigued.

While at the doctor's office, it was the doctor's expression that threw me off my emotional feet. He look puzzled and a little shaken. He then stepped outside the room to consult his colleague. His colleague came in after a while, took a look and said - "we are going to have a talk outside and will let you know what we think." As they were conferring with each other, my wife and I traded nervous looks. The doctor came back in and said - "We are going to order some blood tests, since we don't really know what it is." Now that the doctor did not have any answers, where do we go to find out? "Oh, it's going to be wait and watch game"; I thought - and it is going to be emotionally draining.

At the lab, they tried to find her vein, but in vain. With my wife waiting outside the room, I was forced to watch them pierce the needle into our three month old's arm and then search for a vein. It was like my heart being slowly cut with a butter knife. I was terribly worried, but helpless at the same time, so I stood my ground. The lab then referred us to another lab where they specialized in taking blood samples from infants. What? Couldn't you have told this before? Why does my baby have to be a statistic in your trial and error method? Those were questions in my head that never came out, given the circumstances that I was in. At the next lab, the technician went to get the blood sampling kit while I sat on a chair, holding my daughter tight and in position for the procedure. "Hey there Delilah" by the plain white T's was playing in the background, acting as a catalyst to break up my mental courage. This technician did a much better job, but he had to a drain a lot of blood for all the tests prescribed by the doctor. As the syringe came off, blood poured out into my daughter's arm, my fingers and onto my shirt. It was at that time that my tear ducts reacted to what I had been feeling all along; and a man-tear fell out my left cheek. Under different circumstances, my wife would have said - "Oh, I thought you never teared up". But today was different, I just could not handle it - my daughter was crying at the top of her voice, looking straight into my eyes and probably puzzled why I let this happen to her and I was worried what might come out of these blood tests.

We drove back and there was not a word spoken between us - I am sure our minds were still parsing through the Google results we had seen earlier - cancer forums, tumor forums and links to various types of child cancer. Around dinner time, the doctor called and said - "I got the first round of results and everything looks normal; I am so glad that it is not Leukemia that I had suspected." We had mixed emotions, but I think we felt lighter in our hearts.

The battle is only half won - we are still waiting for the second part of her blood results.

What does this teach me you ask? Well, I am happy with the small worries that I have in life and consider those a blessing now. The bigger ones, the ones that shake up my fundamental well being - I could do away with. So let your little worries prevail, since those are the thorns that support the sweet smelling, beautiful rose of a peaceful, happy and a healthy life.

Busi(m)ess Travel

"Please check with your significant others whether these dates are good for travel - or if they like the idea of you traveling". This was how the whole idea of our team, traveling to our headquarters, was born. To be frank, no one in our team was super excited about a trip to the mother ship. But all of us knew that importance of face value, especially in this economy when you want your bosses to connect with you personally so they think twice in case they are pressured into "pruning" their team.

A couple of "oh my god, what are we gonna do"s from my wife and and a few weeks later, the trip was finalized. I decided to break the unpleasant news to my son to which he went - "Yaay, I can sleep with mom for 3 nights". Whoa! Certainly did not expect that coming from a 5 year old. The outbound flight was at daybreak, which meant I had to wake up at approximately the time I used to go to bed when I was a bachelor. The night before my departure, I hit the bed a couple of hours after midnight and fresh from a diaper change routine for my newborn.

The alarm beeped even before I could complete the dream I was having. "Give me a break, So soon?" I slowly got out of bed, thinking what would have happened at the end of the dream - Do I become the CEO? or do they fire me too? A hot shower followed and I think I spotted some bees buzzing around my head when I got out of it.

Now, when you are flying from point A to point B, there is huge role playing involved. The roles you will be playing are (in respective order)
1. Potential Terrorist: You are one until proven innocent. First they look at you with their eyebrows curled trying to take a crack at your personality. Then comes the stripping down of footwear, jacket, belts, watches, loose change and anything that you weren't born with. Finally, when you are proved safe, you think to yourself; well it's for our safety so it's ok! But then the afterthought follows - are they really weeding out the bad elements or is this the new avatar of bondage?

2. Dirt of Society: Ok, now you have adorned all the stuff that you submitted for scanning and you are waiting for your boarding call. When the moment finally arrives, you are classified by what you paid, how frequently you fly and your travel companions. I am talking about boarding priorities - First Class, super preferred members, elite members, economy plus, families and then groups identified by row numbers. Lucky me, I was group 5 which basically meant that after I get in I would be closing the airplane door behind me. I have to say that after waiting around for that long and boarding last, I did feel that I was unimportant to society and that I did have to work up my way into the class ladder.

3.Socialist: Once you are in the plane, you have to have the mentality of a socialist. There are limited resources and it has to be shared among all travelers. Everybody has to adjust, and wait calmly for their pay in peanuts. If you are lucky, the authorities(stewardesses in this case) will be good to you and may even reward you with a blanket or an extra drink. The entertainment provided (safety video) is sub par and everything is controlled by the government(airline authorities).

The best thing about a business trip is that you get to stay in great hotels that you may not otherwise book when you are on a personal trip. As I rolled my carry on to the hotel lobby, I was dreaming about plush pillows, a well made king size bed and a full night of sleep uninterrupted by a newborn's crying and the subsequent diaper change routine. As I walked up, the receptionist put on a wide smile and sure enough, he greeted me with this question - "Sir, are you a Starwoods preferred member?". Oh no, here we go again!

The next 3 days of my trip can be summarized quickly - exchange of pleasantries, day long meetings, an ice storm, bumping my rental car into my manager's car and a forced dinner at my wife's relative's place. On the bright side, I did enjoy a couple of good dinner outings with my team. (Especially the $2.75 pint night at the local beer joint!)

Another flight, another series of role plays and I found myself back at my home airport a couple hours after midnight. It was a long ride in the shuttle to the Long Term parking lot, so I used it constructively to reflect on the trip. We were able to connect as a team and impress our commanders at base camp. Not too bad! I snuck back into bed after a quick shower. The bed did not have a lot of space for me and plush pillows were nowhere to be seen, but it felt great to immerse into the warmth of it and to be sleeping with family again.

Next morning, I woke up looking at the smiling face of my son. He hugged me and said "I woke up at night and you were there! I am happy now!". Now, that's something you will not get at a Sheraton. No, not even if you are a Starwoods preferred member.

Life Happens...

It was a chilly August night in the millennium that gave us the y2k scare. The weekend had just rolled in. Like clockwork, a bunch of my friends and I opened bottles of rum and coke, mixed them in varying proportions and sipped them down our throats. As the night grew older, sips turned into gulps and our subject matters morphed into worldly affairs, reason of our existence and the meaning of life.

Without further ado, let me cut into the scene of interest. A close friend of mine and I had gotten into a discussion (by this time it was more like an argument) about why software engineers like us chose to immigrate to another country. "Its the technology and the exposure", said my friend to which I asked "What exposure?". Many of our buddies had withered away from our crowd by this time and our noise echoed off my not so sound proof apartment walls.

Here's the some of the conversation as I remember it.
"Exposure to technology and a different culture!"
"BS. It's just the currency exchange rate of 43 - Everyone is here to make money, that's it; and nothing else"
"So does that mean once you make enough money or the exchange rate goes down, you will be back in India?"
"No doubt about that. I am here just for 5 years, buddy. After that, I am off no matter what making my own destiny!"

If you haven't figured out yet, I am the one in the scene with the bold decision making and "my life is already planned out" attitude. After that, the discussion went on and on and my smirks and talking down finally got to my friends head. He then uttered what I have since learned never to use in an argument. Let's pick it up from there.

"Shut Up!"
I respond - "Why should I shut up? I think I am the one with the points here."
"I said, shut up"
"Last time I checked, this was still MY apartment. I have the freedom to say whatever I want!"

Yeah. He had the same reaction you are having. Disbelief. I think it even took some alcohol out of his liver. He raced to the door, and stormed out. I did not go after him - After all, his apartment was only half a mile away, he cannot drive drunk, so I figured he would come back and we could talk things down. Shortly after, my ego and I fell asleep, unaware of the fact that he decided to walk all the way back to his apartment in the cold, without his jacket.

Now, let's not rush to demonize me. The next morning, (more like noon when I woke up) I drove up to his place, surrendered my ego (hangover too) and apologized to him. He smiled and said - hereafter we are not discussing that stuff ever again. Surprisingly, we kept that promise ever since.

Slowly, Life happened. It was like being at a railroad crossing and watching a long train go by. Life's events came and went changing us in the process. We changed jobs, changed apartments, started to build our individual lives and got busy in its betterment.

Fast forward nine years - My friend decided not to accept permanent residency in the US, so he found a job in India, and now lives there with his family I found home in the bay area, and am in the process of raising a family here. Who knew back then that we were predicting each others lives instead of our own? As my tenth year in the bay area comes up this summer, this incident always makes me think of how I have changed in life, how yesterday's priorities have become today's jokes and how the past helps me put a perspective of what the future holds. Life is indeed an amazing journey.

Oversized egos and meticulous planning about the future may bark, but it is reality that bites.